Life goes on

Made it through week 3 with our new 'assistant'. 

Someone asked how it was I could "replace" Booker so easily, and I almost burst into tears at the thought.  I was affronted by their thoughtlessness when I really should have felt sorry for their ignorance (or simpleminded attitude).  We weren't replacing Booker; we found an assistant who could help Odin out of his grief.  Although, perhaps we were replacing Odin's loneliness with companionship.

Be assured there is no way we could ever replace Booker - ever.  But, Odin had a need and that was clear.  We weren't about to shirk our responsibility to him.

Let's face it, humans are OK as slaves to their cats, but we are far from perfect buddies and playmates.  Oh, sure, we supply food, water, doody control, warm laps when required, catnip, new toys, clean linen for their queen-sized beds, good head scrubs and belly rubs, and on and on...but we are not the be all and end all when it comes to the perfect companions. 

Some cats need other cats around to either share every waking moment with or ignore with impunity (whilst following one another around the house all day long).  Aloof?  Absolutely not.  Indifferent at times, sure.  Independent?  Absolutely true, but also dependent and faithful and loving.  But do they pick and choose when or if they are going to favor us with their time and company?  Oh, yeah baby, and I'm OK with that.  But between cats - whether siblings or randomly adopted clowders - they are much happier and healthier when they have companionship. 

Our new little crazy man has been assimilated lock, stock and barrel, and we couldn't be happier with the outcome.  Simon has been inserted into our family dynamic, and Odin is much happier.  He is no longer wondering the house from top to bottom, crying out for Booker for hours on end.  That stress would have taken a horrible toll on his FIV-infected body, and that was not an option I was willing to take chances with.  Simon is the guardian of Odin's well-being now, and he is up to that task.  An older adoptee wouldn't have been the same sort of 'assistant' at this time, but when our next big change takes place, our lives and hearts are open to another lovely soul joining our clowder.

Nature loves me

I know people who believe our departed loved ones are represented by something (or things) that they themselves took delight in while they were alive.  For example: one of my friends has written a story about her mother's respect for spiders, and the way she took care to never kill one.  If found in the house, her mom would go to great lengths to remove a spider to a better place - every time.  So when my friend now sees a spider - especially in out of the way places or at odd moments - she feels her mom's presence quite strongly.

Others believe the sight of a cardinal means your loved one is with you at that time.  They 'appear' because you are confronted with a decision or an issue that has you in turmoil, and the cardinal's presence means you're not alone.  Cardinals also 'hang close' when those who are gone corporeally have been heavily in your thoughts.  It's a comfort thing...a blessing.

I believe in those things, too.

Although personally, my missing loved ones are represented by cranes.  Well, cranes and herons, but this is a distinction without a difference - to me at east.

This week was especially blessed when, on the drive to work, I saw five magnificent cranes flying directly over me.  I am absolutely certain they were my glorious girls and boys, and all at once I felt immediately saddened and delighted; there's no other way to explain it.  To see them all together made me catch my breath, and I wish with all my heart I could have pulled over and simply watched them soar until they were well out of sight.  I'm pretty certain the other drivers around me would not have been as thrilled with that decision, so I gawked as best I could given the circumstances.

All five in a tight pod.  Sleek and powerful, and beautifully bonded - and I knew straight away that this apparition couldn't have been anything other than Cleo, Flop, Hobbes, Jake, and Booker letting me know they'd found one another.  A bittersweet message to receive on the way in to work, yet it filled me with comfort for much of the day - even as the memory of it wrung tears periodically.  Isn't it amazing how similar the feelings are between happiness and sadness?

Even when all else around me is a disappointment or a struggle, I know nature loves me - thank God.

Endings and beginnings - and all of the stuff that happens in between

Simply Simon

It's been two weeks of Simon already - two weeks today.  Odin adores him, and is having infinite fun in the romping and chasing category, although deep in the recesses of his brain I am certain there are remnant thoughts of Booker;  traces of affection and respect, and an unidentifiable longing for his big brother...gone but never forgotten.

It took two months for Simon to come into our lives.  No, there wasn't a lot of searching that happened, but Karl couldn't let himself open up completely to making a choice and bringing home a companion for Odin.  I understood that, and I empathized, but I also saw a need to move forward during our collective period of grief.

Besides all of that, Odin was extremely miserable - lonely and alone, and mourning the loss of his buddy.  He still jumped at the odd noise around the house, and called incessantly for our large orange sweetie, and truth be told it was getting  harder to deal with on a daily basis.

I was determined to fill the void left by Booker's departure, but also felt pangs of guilt in ways I am sure many pet owners will understand.  What felt like disloyalty to Book was understandable, but not insurmountable.  Karl and I could have gone on a while without inviting a new cat into our lives, but Odin was inconsolable.  That became the impetus on my part - it made Karl miserable in other ways, but it gave me a reason to keep my heart open to the perfect opportunity.

My mind was set on an older female (for reasons I won't bore you with here and now), but Simon was the one who presented himself a couple of Saturdays ago, and the rest is history.  As you can see from the photo, he is a scrawny kitten of approximately 18 weeks of age - so that makes him about 4 months old.  He's tiny, and as it turned out (despite vet papers provided by the rescue agency), he had fleas; we found this out the hard way.  Both boys are wearing flea collars now (yes, Odin ended up with them, too).  But this wasn't the worst of it, either.

Last Saturday became a very expensive run to the vet clinic which the rescue bunch had taken Simon's litter to.  Ended up with two vaccinations and an oral treatment, plus the rather expensive flea collars.  And I won't even make you guess that one of the treatments was for tapeworm.  Yup, tapeworm!  So, here we are, $155 poorer, but Simon is that much better for it.  Hopefully his robust appetite will help to put some meat on his little bones over the next few months.  Right now he's curious, playful, loving, and excellent company for Odin.

The splendid Booker - rest in peace

Farewell, Booker...you are much loved and will be forever missed.