Last post of the month

Well, here goes poor August.

Augustus Overus.

I am glad (truth be told)...what a lost month. A transitional bunch of days, spent on too many losses and heartache, and new routines and trying to move on.

My sons successfully, allbeit to a slightly greater degree than I expected, survived my absense from the house for 6 weeks. I was in Grayling for 5 of those, and at Gram's for the better part of one just prior to heading north. So they had to get along and do without, and be diligent in helping out and being grown up about their routines and responsibilities - all on their own!

What can I say?

The place is still standing. Not much messier than when I left, but definitely not any cleaner, either.

The sink was full of dishes and the vacuuming hadn't been done the entire time, but it didn't smell horribly of cat and teenaged boy, nor of sacrificial goats or underwear, so no real complaints.

:^) ;^)

I feel lost in time, though, coming home after having had a routine and purpose, and now not doing anything but hunt for work and clean up. I have a lot to do, but feel lost in the vastness of time in which to get things accomplished.

The sun rises and sets, and I have nothing really to show for the hours in between. I get stuff done, but it seems of little consequence.

What is the matter? Why do I feel so lost and insufficient?

Just observations for the day, but I've got no real purpose, and that bothers me.

Another sad fact is that my Premiere Pro software is acting stupid. Any time I make an edit to the audio portion, the software plays without stopping on command. Argh!!! It used to be once in a while, but now, I can't get it to halt (pause) when told, and I end up losing lots of work due to having to end the program and reboot. There is no way to save work with this stupid malfunctioning tool. This is a real sad thing - and it is bringing me into a deeper malaise.

I've contacted Adobe for some help, but may have to wait a few days for an answer.

Unacceptable!

The boys and I went to my dentist today - the first dental check-up/cleaning for any of us in quite some time. Turns out both the boys have issues with their wisdom teeth needing fillings - Karl (3) teeth and Brian (1). So, there is another very large $$ item to worry about. The visit today for cleanings and exams was over $400! Ouch! Oh, and the fillings for each of them will exceed that! Ah well. I guess that would be the 'cost of living,' eh?

To make matters worse, we will have to schedule this next trip to Dr. Indianer's office soon (before I go) so I don't worry over it all while I am so far away. Also, it needs to be scheduled around Brian's days because we have one car, and Brian's schedule is packed with work between his two part time jobs (and because the car we do have is his - go figure).

And (because I have no car now), I can't attend the seminar/panel discussion regarding the how-to's in the Indie world (Guerilla film-making) here in the Mitt. I really wanted to go, but just now I cannot attend.

Thank God Maria has as big an interest (and the time) to make it to Ferndale this Saturday to catch the news and hear the discussion/speakers. [Thank you, God.]

Thank you, Maria!

It looks like in just over a month I will be heading to FL to be the bookkeeper (again) for the xCTC at Fort Blanding. That Nat'l Guard base is in Starke, FL - towards the north of the state, near Jackson - opposite the panhandle. I liked the people/crew I met and worked with in Grayling, and had no trouble acclimating after a short period.

On the plus side, the people will be pretty much the same. Yea! And this time, they will pay my way there and back (airline ticket), and will pay for my residence (hotel or lodging on base), and I will be where everyone else is - a boon when you want to fit in.

There is a lot to get done prior to departure, so I have to get cracking. By the time I return in November, it will be Thanksgiving (literally), and then December - and I will have to get a car!

I am making lists and plans and trying to prepare for what is to come. September will soon follow August in the 'so-long' category, but maybe that's a good thing! Here's hoping my last post of September will be on a much more positive note.

Be well and stay happy, I look for your positivity!

OK, and I suppose I should give a little info about the car, too

Vincent has to be put down.

Yes, it's true.

Vincent is no longer an automobile, per se - he's more like a rolling ash tray.

It will be cost prohibitive to put the amount of money into him that it would take to get him rolling again, possibly fixing him for yet another imminent breakdown - and next time, God knows where.

Even my mechanic advises against resuscitation. The parts affected are the tension arm, the timing belt and timing apparatus-thingy, and then the engine will need a lot of work - if it can be fixed. The pistons (I think that's what he told me) are damaged and the least that portion of the work would cost would be $1200 to $1400. Even the Mazda dealer thought the money would be a bad investment, as the possible damage could extend far beyond a first fix to the engine block. Sooooo.....

I be laughing on the outside, and crying on the inside.]

Once more I am looking for a vehicle (yes, for those of you keeping score, Brian is up one working car, and I am minus one). Eventually we will get it all straightened out.

Finally! A completed video.

Here, at long last, is a first cut and converted video. It is nothing more than a 30 second spot for the Michigan Renaissance Festival in Holly, MI, but it is something I am quite proud of.

Please give it a once over, and vote thumbs up (if you like it), and perhaps leave a comment before you move on. The link below is to the YouTube version where it will play in full (or, at least larger screen technicolor and high resolution) glory - or you can simply click the play button here (below) and see it in miniature (and lesser visual quality). Your call.

Either way, thanks for your interest and indulgence. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b_E3JrF5YlM

It never rains...but it pours!

That little Morton's Salt chick knows what she's talking about, eh?

So, I put off getting a tune-up for the car until after my return from Grayling, but I didn't push too hard that first bunch of days before going to Gram's, and now I am regretting it.

Today, I drove to Clio to join in on the dubiously dubbed "summer vacation", before Barb heads back to MSU for the year. We went to the little zoo in the Frankenmuth area, wandered around the town (of Frankenmuth), and did a wee little shopping. I picked up two Corelle plates (and two bowls) to replace the long broken pieces that have needed replacing, and then we had lunch/dinner - 'dinch'? 'Lunner'? 'Dunch'? Anyhow, we stopped in at one of their favorite places and had a pasta pizza.

Don't grimace - it was surprisingly good.

Then, I headed home and that's when the whole 'pouring' thing commenced. My car, Vincent (VanGogh), decided to stop Gogh-ing when I pressed the gas pedal. I cruised to the side of the road - grateful for the light traffic on the expressway - and came to a complete stop.

Just like that.

No fanfare, no lights, no warning...just a sputtering (albeit, still running) engine, and no forward motion.

Had it towed to Clarkston for the raging sum of $66, and tomorrow I will head to the mechanic I have come to know and love at 7:30am to see if he can work his magic.

I am curious and terrified at the prospects of what the cost will be this time. Stay tuned.

One full week home

Well, OK, one full week not in Grayling. I was at Gram's for the weekend, beginning Thursday afternoon, on through very late Sunday afternoon, but now I am home!

Not much to report, just that I continue to look for work - again, still, as always....insert favorite phrase here.

Jean and Barb came down Sunday, after my second homecoming, and we went out to see Julie and Julia.

I was hoping to go see my boyfriend on a big screen (because you can NEVER have too much Gerard Butler - and a 20' Gerard is never too much!), but we went to the chic flick, and it was good. I am not a big fan of the little mousey actress, but I did love Meryl Streep's Julia Child. It was spot on! Brava, Meryl!

Today, I struggle with finishing things I begin - and I hate it when I get in one of these ruts. I have video and photos I want to edit into something meaningful, I have stuff to unpack, and a crapload of cleaning I would love to sink myself into, but no matter what I do, I feel guilty about not doing something else! And so I run in ever-widening circles of uselessness, and spend a lot of time wishing I was doing something else - anything else - so nothing gets successfully completed.

[Picture Charlie Brown standing in a field, head back, mouth wide open, and that famous 'aaaagh' scream emminating from him...that's me]

I really just want to quilt right now.

Coming home and Moody Blues

Home again, home again, higgedy jig!

Despite being very hungry - and thinking I would pull over when I felt the pangs - I pushed on to get home and lose no ground or time. I was stuck in the lemming traffic on a Sunday - all those vacationers trying to get home and beat the crowds driving south on I-75.

My gosh, they are brutal and crazy!

But, I made it home in pretty good time, and was never happier to be anywhere (with maybe one exception).

I now have a tremendous amount of work to do before the next week is out, and I am running in circles trying to figure out which direction to cast myself first. No easy decision, believe you me, and the fun doesn't end here...oh no. I need to repack to be ready for my stint at Gram's by mid-week. So I will barely get to reacquaint myself with my own bed and household noises before I am out the door again. Agh!

From all reports, and what I can plainly see in front of me, the boys did a fabulous job keeping it all together in my absence. 5+ weeks of being away forced them to be a lot more capable and goal oriented ("What's for dinner? All of the spoons and bowls are dirty, and I want soup, now what? What's for lunch? Uh oh, I have no clean underwear in my dresser..." and so on). They worked together and tackled most of those issues, and I am very proud of how they came through it.

Brian bought his own car, and he finally sold the pick-up! (Don't even ask about the jeep.)

Karl got to class (most of the time on time, even) and managed to complete his weekly assignments and turn them in - with a lot of cajoling from Bud and Jean, and periodic phone calls from me.

But the point is...we all survived.

I planted $50 bills around the house for them, and called every Monday to instruct them where to look for that week's money. It bought them necessary vittles, paper products, cat food, and the occasional fast food meal, not to mention a little gas money to get Karl back and forth to class. No, they never found any of the cash ahead of schedule, and because the locations were so varied, there was little hope of them locating anything without direction, so the plan was a success.

The boys visited mom and Gram Schaffer, when mom was at Gram's towards the end of July - and Karl learned to play Euchre! Brian completed his summer art class at CCS, and I came home to a mere sinkful of dishes, and a smattering laundry. All in all, not so bad.

For now however, I am pooped. The day has been long and emotionally crowded, and my brain, psyche and body are spent.

I awoke this morning to the rumble of violent thunder, which quickly became a torrential downpour. Wisely, I had packed a good deal of my possessions into the car last night, and had plans to wash my laundry and then stuff the suitcase full early this morning before it got hot and I showered, so that everything was done before I left the apartment for the last time - before heading to the FOB. Execution of my plan worked perfectly last night, but I didn't take into account the ever changing weather for Grayling.

My idea was brilliant, but it didn't allow for two hours of solid rain! So I waited with great anticipation for a break in the clouds, then dashed back and forth with the remaining items, making certain nothing was left behind before leaving my key on the desk and closing my door one last time. The rain started again, lightly, and I drove slowly to the FOB for a final look around and some goodbyes.

The humidity was incredible already, and you could tell the heat was quickly on the rise. By the time I drove in to town, the heat had evaporated a lot of the moisture on the roads, and was making things sticky. By the time I reached I-75 southbound, I was glad to be in my car with the windows down slightly. Boy! how I missed my Prayer Room/Office and it's lovely surround windows, and that constant breeze.

I somehow managed to forget about the hoards and masses of 'Sunday drivers' who head south after vacationing in upper MI, and I found myself wishing I had begun hours sooner! I was now one of them. But, as I said, the drive was pretty good and I was home in a scant few hours.

Aside from being sleepy, I had a good time at the Moody Blues concert at the Knob tonight. Thank you, Jean! We had a blast, and pretty good seats - I wish I had taken my camera, though. I will never follow the rules again when it comes to not taking a camera to a concert! So help me. LOL

Oddly enough, the humidity was worse as we arrived at the Knob and took our seats, and by the middle of the first set, there was apocalyptic lightening and thunder vying for prominence over the band. It was something to have that kind of 'light show' along with the concert. Then, the clouds opened up and people on the hillside were washed away, but the band played on! It was phenomenal!

Remnants of Grayling followed me home, but I was pleasantly Moody Blue.

Has it been three days?

Today is the final day for me...last FULL final day. I have been here for a while, working without the jenny, and although it's raining buckets (and has been for some time) I am comfortable and dry in my trailer office.

I began the day early, with the sound of thunder approaching quickly. I decided to pack up the car in the early hours so I wouldn't have to do it tomorrow morning, but, due to the rain I had to change my plans. So I busied myself with cleaning the cupboards and drawers out, getting my things into boxes and bags and ready to load. Tonight I will do my laundry and pack the luggage, leaving out only what I will absolutely need for Sunday. I also ate the last of my Morningstar blackbean patties and beautiful Farmer's Market tomatoes for breakfast - it is amazing how filling those are. And it is fortunate they cook up well enough in the microwave, for I returned the toaster oven to the Art department yesterday. weeks ago Kevin loaned me that lovely bit of luxury to use for making dinner in my apartment, and I gratefully accepted the chance to pseudo-cook and not go out for dinner every night.

Yesterday began with a DH AAR (Department Head After Action Review), most of which will be delivered to the corporate folks at ACS - the company putting on this little shindig - and their discussion and suggestions will hopefully provide some resolution to issues encountered over the last several rotations.

The next rotation (deployment for this training method) will be in Blanding (a repeat location) through all of October and into November...ending just before Thanksgiving. It is a much larger project (this one was decidely smaller compared to all the others) and will require far more resources in every way, shape and form, so I would have my work cut out for me.

Yes, I have been asked to join them, if I desire to, and I am thinking about it, but will also continue to look for work close to home and more consistent in nature ("consistent" as in every day Monday through Friday, with benefits and vacation days, and within a reasonable driving distance).

I'm not crazy, I just act that way.

There are tractor trailers out back waiting to load up the conex's (large metal containers that are loaded with everything this team travels with - EVERYTHING), and I can hear the steady droning of their engines over the rain and wind. It's sad that the last day out here on base has to be performed in the rain, but I suppose it's fitting for Grayling.

The production folks have shown up and are getting down to business, so I will go back to my work and finish. Once done here, I will roll up my sleeves again, and become a PA for the next few hours.

Thanks for checking in, and keep good thoughts in your hearts for everyone here, and for the National Guardsmen and women going overseas soon.

Don't open your mouth around a BFE - especially if it's aimed at your head!

I woke up two morning’s ago to the sound of distant rumbling, which I couldn’t discern as either thunder or large gun fire or tank mortar rounds. Once I realized how early it was, I knew it could only be thunder. The rain had apparently been falling for a while, but it was spattering more than real rainfall, so there was only a bit of dampness to the grass outside my door and along the edge of the sidewalk.

Attended my first BFE demo in the box one afternoon a few weeks back, but have since had a real eye-closing experience with one up close and personal. Yes, that’s right, “eye-closing,” if you know what’s good for you. To be funny, the BFEs were having fun setting off rogue ‘explosions’ when a crew member would wander through a certain area of the beach. Dusty, but funny – and NO, they are not lethal – just really loud and messy.

Fascinated with the thought of having one of those cool dust clouds roll by, and being enveloped early on in the day by another, I became completely enthralled with the idea of how cool it would be to video one of the rumbling, rolling clouds to use as a transition. So I asked if they could let me know the next time they were going to light one off, and…being the kind obliging folks they are…they set one up just for me.

Sweet boys.

I watched with great anticipation as they charged the compression tank with “air”, then loaded the release chamber with their special brand of dust. After the process of prepping the IED, came the location of the human tripod (me). I had wrapped the camera with cellophane to keep the works from getting jammed with cloud debris, sadly leaving the lens exposed (to be able to film it all properly).

The idea was for the detonation to produce a cloud that would grow in scale as it rolled past me – picture that scene in Hidalgo where the dust storm races across the dessert to overtake all in its path. That’s what I was after. Um, I got a little more than I bargained for…that’s all I can say. The event was priceless, and is something Transpo, BFEs, and anyone else watching, still laugh over.

I still want my rolling cloud shot!

Yes, there are images I can share, and if you will be patient, I promise you it will be so worth the wait.

Thanks for checking in, and I will be home soon.

Mom sent a note - here's my reply

Only 7 days to go up there...are you counting the hours yet?

Keep well, hang in there. Only a little bit more to go.

Love,

Mom

I responded -

Don't you know it! Oh yes, I am counting the hours - and the minutes, AND the seconds. There are times when I think "hey, this is almost over...too bad," and then I realize "yea! It's almost over!" One week to go and then I am driving south like nobody's business.

Yesterday I asked to confirm my departure date, and was told it had moved it to the 11th, "...possibly the 12th". I reminded them I had plans that had been put in place months ago, and I would be happy to do the work remotely if it were a possibility. They said, "...ok and whatever. We'll figure it out." As their plans are sort of by the seat of their pants, and they really don't have much expected for me for the last two (maybe) days, the idea for hanging around and paying the room charges, etc., is not appealing when I could be home getting things done. Also, I need a little time ahead of my date with the MI Works office (that Thursday) to get everything gathered up in one place again, and drop it off at the office the day before, as instructed.

So................

The last set of Guards left in a flurry throughout the day last Friday, and the ones remaining behind for whatever reason pulled out at the crack of dawn - and the place looked desolate once the sun was high in the sky. A few Guard members have arrived for the next regular rotation - and I think they are early, as a few more arrive each day, just like last time. This place may be humming again with noises and activity soon, and we will be packing it up and departing as they are spreading their wings.

The bunch we've trained will have their orders to go overseas soon, and hopefully what we all accomplished here will help them to better understand the people they will be coming in contact with. I pray it will help cement better relationships in villages across Afghan and Iraq now that the soldiers have an idea of what they will be seeing and hearing, or that it will keep them alive being able to better identify insurgents (or possible dangerous situations) and their reactions can be kept to a less tragic confrontational level.

The idea is to keep things peaceful before too much harm can be done out of ignorance and suspicion (and fear). So many ways for these folks to look, it's a wonder they can sleep when they close their eyes to rest.

Anyhow, I am waiting for the rest of the Production folks to get here so that the trailer can be unlocked. I expected Wardrobe to be here much earlier, but they are behind, too. Currently I am sitting in the large tent between the trailers where we eat, and Jana moves the supplies in and out of, and those packs for tracking the soldiers were in boxes - do you remember that mess?

It's a late start day today because there is no COB activity in the box, and the team takes advantage of the relaxed atmosphere to break things down, and inventory and pack things away, to be ready for re-deployment next Monday. Everything goes! Everything has its place, and the packing began in earnest a few days ago. I can see such a difference around here, and the atmosphere is changing.

I will get back to work in a moment, I just wanted to send you a response and to say I love you, and thanks for stopping by here on your way home, it meant a lot to see you. Now I know how soldiers feel when they are away from their families. Much love,me

Little blessings

It helps on locations to be thankful for the little things, otherwise other odd stuff can get you down if you aren’t careful. Kind of like yesterday, when the internet decided to make itself unavailable, the rain became unrelenting and I was feeling blue. So, I have compiled a list of little blessings I have found here in Grayling.

My poor car – it keeps soldiering-on. I could be here without a convenient ride to go when/where I want as I please.

A new neighbor in the little apartment next to mine, which shares the bathroom facility. The last one was a door slammer and quite rude/snooty/brusque/loud/caustic. This new neighbor is older and more serene.

Candles I purchased in town (because they smelled pretty).

Most especially, I am thankful for the little blessing one of the boys left in my car – a found lighter! Otherwise I wouldn't have been able to light the candles. The power outage last night would have been worse without the benefit of light in the bathroom recesses!

I woke up earlier than necessary – for the 27th day running – and waited to capture the cannon blast at 06:00h sharp. I would love to actually see the boom, but I can settle for the sound bite. Also, I heard a loon flying overhead in the momentary silence. We don’t usually experience morning quiet once the day begins for the Guard personnel, so the sound of that one lone loon was an unnatural (but beautiful) punctuation to the gray dawn.

The past few mornings have been softened with fog, which is sort of pretty, and not a bother on base – for me, anyway.

When it comes to driving, the only real traffic I have to contend with would be the deer that dot the area between my apartment and the FOB. Every day it is a new set of does and young ones. They are lovely to watch – statuesque and alert, but curious, too. As long as you keep your eyes open you never have any worries.

The best snack food (crafty) to date is the Kar’s Yogurt Apple Nut Mix…OMGoodness, how I love to find one of those little green pouches in a crafty basket! It’s Christmas day every time.

For Gin, Christmas struck one morning a week ago in the form of a GFS truck arriving to unload one very large bulk order of crafty, water/beverages and needed paper supplies – hopefully, the contents will carry us through the remainder of the exercise.

I am thankful to have found a working bathroom (2, actually) in FOB, as opposed to the other two choices available to us in the production realm. Porto-potties are not an option when you have running water and a real toidy to plant yourself on.

Most especially I need to mention the blessing of the Prayer Room Mustafa and Ala’a have given me for my work space. It was the best thing ever! and I am truly blessed to have met and worked with these men on this project.