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8.31.2011

Goodbye, August.

Hello, September.

To me, September is the transition month.  It's not really summer any longer (not really), and it isn't quite fall.... yet.  But it is September.

The sound of it is somewhat regal and something like a conspiring Shakespearean character, all at once.

So, good night, old August.  We'll see you again in eleven months and some hours; for, September hath arrived and there really isn't any extra room for two months at one time.

Jinxed it

Took the portable AC unit out of the living room just over the weekend, thinking that while we may have some warm days ahead of us, the weather seems to have turned a corner to more pleasant (tolerable) temps.  Surely, we can handle these high seventies and occasional low eighties - which we have been - without using the AC. 

We won't melt on the temperate days. [insert mental thought of Wicked Witch of the West here]

We used it quite a bit over the worst of steamy, hot July (all of steamy, hot July, in fact). Oh, my, was it steamy.  That little unit droned and chilled for all it was worth.  I set an oscillating fan well off to one side of the room and blew the chilled air towards the hall, hoping to impact the back half of the house. Jury's still out.

Darn it all if I wasn't a little premature in my assessment of the weather to come.

Weather weanies say we are to expect mid- to upper-eighties the rest of this week.  90*F by the end of the week - with humidity!   Ay carumba.

No, I won't be putting the AC unit back in its place, but I will be taking full advantage of the overnight lows and freezing the boys out at night.  As it gets down into the beautiful 60s at night, we will draw the air through the house with our beautiful old attic fan, and let that natural AC keep the house moderately cool while the temps climb outside.

It does work, after a fashion, and I thank God that it does. I just hate that I jinxed it.

PS - It's raining (lightly) just now, but sounds as though a light wash is all we're going to get.  The squirrels are romping on the roof, and I keep waiting for one of them to slip and fall past the library window - like a cartoon.

8.30.2011

Must be cosmic-letter-writing week

Dear vacuous motorists:

How did you get your licenses? No....reallyHow!?

Specifically (today), you most moronic of motorists who use the ATM at the [rhymes with "schmenisis"] bank branch on Schmixie, in Schmarkston [I'm on a roll, here, may as well go with it]. There was one moron in particular who decided I was in the wrong for bringing to his attention his stupidity by nearly colliding with my car.

That's right, I honked!

And this particular problem is not a one-time thing...oh no.  You ATM users, you massive bunch of stupid twits in cars, I am quite certain you conduct other business from the convenience of your rolled down automobile window.

Oh, yes you do, and don't try to deny it.

You've driven through fast food joints, the pharmacy pickup for medication, Tim Schmortens, Vegas marry-her-now-before-you're-sober wedding chapels.  Oh, yes you have - we've got surveillance camera video footage of you!

For these very reasons, I know you know how to 'hug the wall' and stay in your lane as you drive around the corner of a building.  So WHY can't you follow suite at the bank?!?!!

There's a lane - use it!!  Stop cutting across the drive-thru teller window lanes as you pull away from the ATM.  STOP IT!

One day soon, oh permanently stupid people, I am going to pull up on your right front quarter panel (in the first of those two drive up banking lanes) and park, as if I am trying to make up my mind to go right - into the second lane - or stay in the one next to you.  Then, when I don't move, you are going to do one of three things (and most likely it will be one of the two stupid choices of the three that you will use). It's at that time I will point out the obvious and correct thing you mass of morons should be doing, and then see what transpires.

Will you succumb to the learning curve and graciously accept the correction, or will you follow the intentionally foul and obscene lead of the motorist moron I encountered today?

Hhmmmmmmm?

Signed,

A person who dislikes stupid behavior and has a lot of time on her hands

Scary thought

Beginning to believe that if I didn't have to leave the house to mail a Half.com sale, take Karl to a meeting here or there, or go to the bank, I wouldn't leave the house at all.

Ever.

Not kidding...just beginning to realize the truth in these words.  The thought has rolled around in my head for some time, but I am feeling it become a very real part of who I am and how I conduct my days.  I have to make myself get out - even into the garden.

And I haven't - lately.

It's really starting to scare me.

8.29.2011

Cosmic apologies

Dear Anthony (if that is your real name) at AT&T:

Try to understand, that when I, as a customer, am shunted through three live persons (which, by the way is nearly impossible to do with your phone system - get a live person, that is), in order to get through to "customer service" to discuss my DSL and phone issues, I do not want to wind up speaking with someone about U-verse!

Do not! Do not! Do not!!!

Why is AT&T insisting on shoving U-verse down my throat?

I specifically said I wanted to speak with someone regarding my high-speed DSL service and still wound up speaking with someone in customer service (huzzah!) who said they couldn't tell me anything about my U-verse account (WTF?).  I wasn't inquiring after a U-verse account.

I don't have a U-verse account!

With unemployment raging in my life (being my chief concern and hurdle) I can barely afford the exorbitant phone bill to be able to maintain the expensive (crappy) DSL service that piggybacks it.  And no, dial up is not an option - are you crazy?!

Please don't continuously tell me that my street is zoned for U-verse and that you have limited information on my U-verse account (which I do not have), and that you would be more than happy to connect me with a U-verse accounts person to help with my issue...when the issue isn't my (non-existant) U-verse account!!! 

I have tried this morning to get an audience with a customer care rep (ultimately you, Anthony) so that I could ask questions about my DSL (you know, internet access that isn't U-verse). After the endless twenty+ minutes of crap, repetitious elevator muzac and self-promoting "commercials", and the transfers by your insipid, misogynistic, electro-male-voice switchboard to people who (probably) mean well but are function-challenged at their jobs, I still got you with your rather inept, unresponsive and lackluster customer service center response.

Oh, and by the way, your phone lines are poo!  I could barely hear you most of the time.  You would think the phone company would have better quality so that the customer wouldn't have to deal with more frustration while dealing with the initial frustration.

So, when I hung up in incredible frustration, I did so after apologizing in advance and with a warning.  I hope you didn't take it as personally as it may have felt at the time.

Signed,

One very frustrated, broke and dissatisfied non-U-verse customer

8.28.2011

W.I.?

Apparently it went up instead of down. Guess that makes me an overachiever.

[sniff]

'nuff said.

8.27.2011

It's gonna take me a while before I sit on that sofa again

So....what I thought was Hobbes just sitting on the edge of the sofa, chillin' after a hard morning of rounding up mousies, was in fact, not the case

"Why aren't you still gnawing on the mouse?" I chided her. "How could you let it get away?"  Of course, I had no way of knowing exactly what did happen in my brief absence, but because there was no body, I had to assume the worst and hope for the best. 

Aside from the awful thought that there is now a mouse 'underground entrance' into my home, I do at least have the satisfaction in knowing I will not be waiting for the smell of rotting mouse to fill the air any time soon.  Hobbes was apparently keeping the little bugger warm while she was perched on the edge of the sofa.

That's right, my latest gift from the girls was nestled all comfy-like on the sofa - under Hobbes keister that whole time!  And it looks like she groomed it to death.

I've since cleaned and scrubbed the spot (and the surrounding three feet) well with soap and water, then with rubbing alcohol, but it is still going to be a memory that I am going to have to work to blot out of my mind.

On the surface

Yes, if you didn't know better you would think the mouse situation has been handled.


Yes, the little critter is in a leftover container.

Nope, this is not the same little bugger from earlier this morning.  How do I know? This one is much larger!

Yes....larger!

This is mouse #2 for the day.

I think we've only just scratched the surface.

Seriously?

Where's the @!&$ mouse?

You would think if someone had [gulp] eaten it, there would be some evidential glorp on the floor.  A schmear to clean?  Something!

[quaking with ickiness]

I'm not afraid of a mouse.  I'm afraid of the smell of a dead mouse.  Have you ever had the pleasure of smelling a decaying mouse corpse in your home?  You can't get away from it, you just have to wait until it fades.

On the farm, we would lay out bait, and of course, it would be eaten.  Stupidly, we figure the critter would go off and die somewhere - never figuring it would 'go off and die somewhere' IN THE HOUSE!!

Sheesh!

I had hoped I would be able to tell whether or not somebody had ingested the little fella by way of a diminished appetite at breakfast.  But, no!  I could picture it, all the girls in their eating positions, waiting to be served.  Hobbes, sniffs at her portion and pushes back with a burp.

"No shanks...nones for me [urp]. How 'bout just a cup of coffee and a Rolaids, please."

Guess I know what I will be doing all day (until I find the corpse, or proof of ingestion).

[glurk]

Intrepid hunters

Sleep interrupted by three mouse-hunting fuzzballs.

I thought the feet I heard creeping down the stairs were on the way to the box, but then there was a second pair of (nearly) silent feet.  I think the excitement of the chase destroyed all evidence of stealthiness on somebody's part.

Clearly, I missed the first set of feet entirely.

My aging, former barncats are now bumbling and fumbling over what next to do with their quarry.

Flop crouches near an unrecognized diminutive figure on the floor, growling as quietly as she can at Cleo, who is in the shadows - far behind the action.  Hobbes is hot on the trail and has cornered the seemingly crippled (or very dazed) mouse, and is 'on point', where Flop is still trying to find what is truly in front of her.

It's all too funny, and sad, and curious.

Hobbes is still carrying on with her very quiet talking.  What I cannot discern is if she is chatting to the mouse or squeaking instructions to the other girls.  Of course, it wasn't until I turned on my bedside lamp and peered over the edge to the floor, that I saw what exactly was going on.

Wobbly Mouse was either playing dead or was truly one foot in the grave.  Hobbes was sitting within nose-to-fur position, poking it at 12-second intervals to illicit movement.  Flop was alternately looking for said mouse and grumbling over her shoulder at Cleo.  Cleo...well, Cleo was laying on the floor, about four feet behind it all, cleaning her face and gazing in the general direction occasionally with mild interest and zero enthusiasm.

I hopped out of bed to grab a piece of paper towel with which to grab the soon dead carcass, heard a little commotion, and when I returned, mouse was nowhere to be seen and the cats had called off the chase.  Flop and Cleo had come upstairs, and Hobbes was perched on the sofa, looking neither satisfied or eager.

WHERE'S THE MOUSE??!!??

Jeez, I love a good farm cat.

8.26.2011

Aahhhhhhhh

Homemade nachos, a couple good movies on the DVD player, and some fun conversation.

Goodnight, Friday, see you next week.

8.24.2011

Just a question

What is the point of cleaning up the kitchen if you're just going to turn around and mess it up again making another yummy meal?

Twice the effort, I say.

But last night's dinner was a-yummilicious!

Now, if you will excuse me....I need to go out to the kitchen - and clean!


*Yeah, sorry. If you were looking for something profound this morning, it ain't gonna be here.  Maybe later.*


8.23.2011

Yea! Boy has his car back...again!

We had a quick chat, then he was out the door for work. 

"Feels great, and like the mechanic tightened up and tweaked other stuff, too," he said. "Not just the brakes, unless all of it is connected and whatever."

Mommy asked: "Is it worth the do-re-mi?"

"Oh, yeah," he said with a childlike grin and a giggle.

Good. 

Thank you, Steve's European Automotive in Waterford!  You are the bomb!

Did we just have an earthquake?

Yes.....apparently, we did. Or, the aftereffects/shock wave thingy.  Looks like we felt Virginia's quake.

Hey, Virginia!  Cut it out with the rough stuff, will ya?

It was an "odd critter" day

...among other things

After getting Brian's car to the mechanic (once again), I hustled Karl to a different sort of meeting with his new staff support person.

His newest CLS affiliate thought it would be a neat idea to wander the campus of MSU and to see what life is like for a college student away from home. I am not certain his interest was piqued as much as we both hoped, but it was a good comparison for him to take note of. The expectations of large "full time" college life versus his own current arrangement. It's making for a good way to begin conversations regarding college classes and future planning - something Karl does not/can not let himself be lead into.



While I know Karl was bummed by the fact he was away from his beloved computer for the day, he did seem to enjoy some of the day - more than I think he would ever readily admit to. For instance:
Friendly MSU squirrel


He did actually take time to look at some of the exhibit pieces and make appropriate comments in the on-campus museum (which I never knew existed...very cool), and he took an interest in the botanical garden as well. Without prompting, he read several of the descriptive tags and looked at several of the plants on his own, away from Barb and me.

When we stopped to watch the Freshmen marching band practice on the field, though, he reverted to an old behavior which I thought was long gone.
He certainly got the idea that there was a lot of walking involved at MSU.

Thank you for the neat tour, Barb!

Today, Brian will get his car back and be on the road once again. His maintenance costs are hopefully where they should be for his cars' age and condition. If he continues to keep an eye on everything, he will have the car well after it's paid off. Please, God, let this be so, for his sake.

Discovered early in the day yesterday that the smell I thought (feared) was a decomposing mouse in a wall, was actually a dead bird in the flowerbed out front. Very sad. Juxtapose that with the sight of a lovely American Goldfinch in the back bed, feeding on the seed heads of my fading Echinacea and flitting about between two of the hydrangeas. 

Hobbes having a catnip craving

Because of the screen and the angle of the sun, the photos are poor quality, but still, I get a smile when I think that the flowerbed is doing "business" with the bird population, as I hoped it would. (Sorry, photo would not stop juming around the page as I placed it - so it is not here.)


Anyway, it's time to step away from the keyboard for a little while and enjoy more of the weather and get a little laundry done. More later.


This last photo is apropos of nothing, other than it was funny.


8.22.2011

Disconnected stuff

Couldn't tell this morning if I was very early or if the sun was rather late. Without a clock to go by, I took my cue from the girls - and they were in no more a hurry than I was to roll out of bed and start the day.

Of course, Flop was upstairs galumphing and playing with the little fake mice in the living room.  By the sounds of it, she was having a GREAT time.  If you didn't live here, you would have thought the living room had been overrun by a practicing circus act.

Cleo and Hobbes were on the bed with me, alternately grooming, purring and dozing.  I was avoiding.  Needless to say, they were far more successful than I in their endeavors.

The house is sufficiently cooled off this morning, due to the lovely sixty degree temps we are dropping to overnight.  Take that, DTE!  You bloodsuckers.

Despite the harsh grooming and the transplanting to a hostile (and completely converse) environment, the Jackmanii clematis has bloomed!  In fact, not one, but two blossoms!  I wasn't trying to kill it, but I hadn't done it any favors with this wretchedly hot summer move...and yet, it surprises and prizes me.  It is nowhere near the size it had been when I whacked it down and buried out back, but apparently the location is perfect.

Everything still requires weeding. [heavy sigh]

Karl had the wonderful fortune to see a hummingbird around the pergola (yea!), but I have yet to see one this year.  Our bats are gone (boo). A good number of yellow swallowtail butterflies have fluttered through the yard over the last two to three weeks - that's always a good thing.

The lovely Japanese anemone have just begun blooming - I do love the look of them - but the hosta blooms are beginning to die back, sadly.  There are so few late-summer flowering shade plants. [heavier sigh]

Two or three showers yesterday have added 'bath water' to the gutters, and the blue jays and sparrows are loving it. You're welcome, birds.

The chipmunks living in the space under our front porch slab were busy over the weekend.  Cheek pouches full as they entered the hole from the flowerbed side.  Flop watched and drooled a good portion of the day, because those little critters are very active.  And the dreadful groundhogs (in residence out back) were busily grabbing at the apples, within their plump reach, from a very large portion of the tree that toppled to the ground over the weekend. 

[groan] That's going to have to be dragged out front and cut back a bit for the rubbish dudes to haul away.

Perhaps I should just crawl back into bed for a few more hours days weeks...just until I can't see my shadow.

8.21.2011

Know any quilters?

It's been ten days since I posted an offer to giveaway three separate 'fat' fat quarter bundles (posted on the quilting blog, not here), and so far, not one person has left a comment or shown any interest in the freebies.

There have been readers, but no takers.  Ah well.....go figure.

I'm just sayin'.

Preparedness

You make all the preparations you can and still, when the inevitable happens, there are always one or two things you find that weren't done well enough - when the rubber meets the road.

Early last night, before heading to the market to grab some essentials, I asked K to gather up all candles and oil lamps into one spot. It would be dark before long and our light sources needed to be amassed and ready. I was going to the store for cat food and toilet paper anyway (don't draw any conclusions from that combo), but the storm made it necessary to pick up dinner as well, so it was good timing(?).

On the western horizon you could see the back edge of the clouds approaching, and behind that you could see the remaining clear sky left in its wake.  It was bright and hopeful, but I knew that by the time the oppressive clouds finally moved past us, the sun will have set and the powerless night would be our major obstacle. We would have no rosey sunset this evening.

Not knowing how long the power would be out this time, I grabbed sandwich fixings, a small portion of deli potato salad, some grapes, cranberry juice and milk to tide us over (even though we had plenty of milk in the fridge I wasn't going to open).

By the time I returned, darkness had descended (most of the cloud mass was still overhead) and more generators could be heard running throughout the neighborhood.

From my quick trip to the store I could see the range of the power outage only extended as far east as 3/4 of a mile from our neighborhood.  I didn't take the time to drive through town to our west, or south through the rest of the subdivision, to see how widespread it may have been.  All that mattered was getting ready for what could have been a long night in our house.

We filled a small cooler from the garage with the ice, milk and food provisions just bought, and hunkered in. 

Power was restored by ten-thirty - or thereabouts - and candles and oil lamps were extinguished promptly thereafter.

For now I'm off to rearrange the freezer contents (and then sew!).  Perhaps I can still save most of the ice and use it in some smoothies (I hate the idea of simply tossing it out).  The rest of the day, I am prepared to make full use of - hopefully with the aide of electricity.

8.20.2011

How?

How can I expect/ask my son to "grow up' when the petulant turd, who planted the seed of creation (A.K.A. "biological paternal unit"), hasn't yet done so?

Edited
FYI - I was going to add the word 'festering' in front of "petulant turd" and use the phrase "sperm donor" at the A.K.A. description, but I know that all wouldn't have set well with my mother (if she read it)...so, out of deference to her, I toned it down (as much as I could).

But, I really struggled with the whole 'whom' versus "who" thing. Hope I ultimately got it right. And (just so you know) I really hate beginning sentences with "but" and "and" - it's just so incorrect.

8.19.2011

I don't like being 'in a mood'

I wish that I could just shake it off, like a dog does after climbing out of a lake.  You know, a real big dog after a good drench in the pool or a lake?

Think about it...you've seen it happen before.

They're dripping wet when they clamber up on dry ground and plant their feet in a made-for-working-stance; like they're squaring off with Mother Earth and the forces of gravity...and then shake for all they're worth.

When I get into a funk that just won't drop away on its own, I wish I could just shake it off like a dog.

Woof!

8.18.2011

OK, go home now!

Kid R and some chef are in town, doing some stupid "Digs 'n' Dives" BS taping for a cooking network show.

COULD CARE LESS.  Oh, and I do (care LESS).

The town is crowded enough without the swarm of production equipment, trucks and crews littering the sidewalks and blocking the narrow streets.  The absolute hysterical part was driving through town and seeing some oh-so-serious muscle-nerd standing watch over their stupid vintage cars. 

Um, hello!  Michiganians prize a beautifully maintained classic car, and it isn't required to have some Cromagnon goofball standing on the sidewalk next to the cars to keep folks from hopping in.

Hello! 
Dream Cruise. 
Motor City etiquette. 
Concours d'elegance. 
???? 

I think we are a bit more adept at appreciating and respecting something from a polite distance and not manhandling a ride.  Doesn't require a hired thug to stand guard - that just draws more attention.

Get a grip, rocker boy.  You aren't all of that.

I'm just saying.

PS - A better shot would have been to turn the camera around on the action and frame the restaurant behind the two blow-hards BS-ing, instead of the sad little businesses on the opposite side of the street.  Think about it, Mr. Producer.  Your production value is already circling the bowl.  Sheesh!

8.17.2011

Here comes that feeling

The sun is hitting that point in the sky (and on the horizon) where I begin to realize that fall is on its way.

Yes, I said it.  "Fall."

It's just a certain look the sky gets...and I know.  The cast of the shadows and sounds in the air.

The setting sun has a beautifully lazy place in the library window as the year (aw, let's just say the "growing season") begins to wind down.  It hits a sweet spot in the tree branches, and the filtered light plays across the west-facing rooms brilliantly for hours in the late afternoon and on into twilight.  By the time it sets, the house has been bathed in a comforting easy glow that seems to wipe away any transgressions of too much heat or too little rain, or not enough breeze.

It's usually just about this time of year when the locusts begin their scratchy crooning, and their droning buzz is heard far off - echoing the feeling of each fading day with a soundtrack all its own. 

Lower and lower the sun sets - slowly bouncing off the powerlines and roof peaks until it can bounce no longer.  It slips into the waiting horizon; disappearing like a pat of butter that's melted into a steamy bowl of Cream of Wheat. 

With the approaching evening, crickets and peepers join the chorale, while the last of the song birds bid "good day" to the light.  A mourning dove sings out one last time for its mate as sparrows, jays, cardinals and robins play one final round of tag for dust baths in the driveway or bugs in the flowerbed.

Can you feel it?

It's very quiet this morning

Despite the fact that it's well after eight in the morning, it is very quiet.

Usually, there is an overabundance of audible noise from the busy surface streets that surround us to the west and south, and the feint but persistent thrum of high speed noise from the busy expressway that wraps around us to the north.  Fortunately, the noise is not loud and the area we live in is not a major metropolis. The noise is just there.  Distantly there.

Most folks don't even hear the noise that I am aware of, and I wouldn't hear it either, except that sometimes a motorist has to be churlish and rev his engine or race his car, or hasn't had a muffler issue fixed, etc.

Like those who live around an airport or railroad line, (most of the time) I can completely tune out this auditory invasion, but when it is eerily quiet (like this morning), it just seems odd to be aware of not hearing it.

Don't get me wrong, I am not complaining.

It's just that this odd, out-of-character quiet makes the day feel more like an early Sunday morning, and not a Wednesday.  No lawn mowers, leaf blowers or trimmers buzzing.  Even the birds are somewhat less chatter-y this morning.

Quick, somebody, grab the remote!  Have we been transplanted into the Twilight Zone?

8.16.2011

Afraid of finishing what I've started

Is this a common fear?  Is there a phobia name for being afraid to finish what's been started?

Because, if there is, then I have it.

Although, I am not so certain it is a 'fear' necessarily that is keeping me from completing my tasks/projects/assignments - but I don't know what the proper word or phrase would be for the work habit  plaguing me.

For example:
My perennial flowerbed is literally 'just outside my back door.'  Why do I not just pull on my boots, as I did for all of those spring and early summer weeks, and finish up the last few remaining yards?  I need to bring up the soil level and get the last of the plants in; pull a good amount of grass and weeds, but that's a snap.

I mean - for crying out loud - I managed to eradicate far more out of E&K's weedy backyard than I have remaining in my own perennial bed...so why don't I just get out there and do it?  And then, weeds have overtaken the front bed, again. 

Where am I? 

And the hedges....I began (happily) to trim them out and start the shaping process months ago!!

The gardening isn't my only area with issues.  Sewing projects also sit in various unfinished states.  Of course, I can clearly understand my trouble with many of those projects.  When I got to a place where I could slip the object on (and discovered it wouldn't fit), I put it aside and began something else.

I know!

Somebody please tell me - why can't I seem to fini.......

8.13.2011

Post Script to the grass thing

So, it's raining (as predicted,) and Erika and Klaus's grass seed is now watered in.  Tah daaahhhhhhhhh! 

Grow, baby!  Grow!!

*Hhmmmm - wondering if the slope of that hill and the deluge from this storm were a bad combo for the seed.?*

Well, I guess we will see in a few weeks what the heavy rains doth wrought.


Back from putting in a new lawn

I spent the last part of the morning, and the first few hours of this afternoon at Klaus and Erika's, helping Klaus put in a lawn (where I had been weeding the last two weeks).

And now, the deed is done.  Hopefully, by the end of the summer (perhaps by the end of September) there should be something to show for the hard work and effort.  It took roughly twelve to thirteen hours to clean it out, prep it and get the seed and cover in to place.  Thankfully, Klaus and I worked together today to get the lawn down, or it could have been a very long day.

Now, we wait.  Very exciting!

Next, I think I will clean up and watch some paint dry.  Nooooo.......I am going to work on something from the sewing pile.  Wait!  I need to get to the grocery store first. 

Well, whatever I decide to do, you can bet it won't have anything to do with grass.

What kind of day is it going to be....

...when you wake up to the sounds of your cat throwing up IN YOUR SHOE?

Have a nice day, wherever you are (and put your shoes away)!

8.12.2011

A shambles

How does one go from being on top of their game to the bottom of the pile?  If someone is thankful and says so, and is not bragging or possessing too much pride or showing off, how can it be that it is all suddenly lost?  Even more baffling is...that the path back to stability has become an elusive (almost non-existent) path.

My life is a shambles.

Even after my epiphany (just the other day), I can still find little things that mentally and emotionally eat at me in a hurry, until I become a giant puddle of weeping girl.  As blue as the sky is this morning, I am equally blue - but not a sunny, what-a-lovely-day blue.  How is that possible??

I took a moment to look over FB (increasingly becoming a waste of time and a mental-zapping site), and there are people who chime in on a page called "If You Grew Up in Mason, You'll Remember...." blah, blah, blah, or some other such pile of a turd memory crap fest.  I can't/don't join in because my memories only extend for a few brief years.  Those people are a part of that community and each other's lives.  I was a weed that blew in and sat in a crack in their sidewalk for a while, then washed out again with a hard rain.

I didn't grow up anywhere.  There was no one place I could call home. 

No pile of memories. 

No scrapbook of photos or diaries of childhood thoughts. 

No friendships lasting decades; and my relationships with my brothers is flighty and tenuous, at best.  Not for lack of trying, but they quite obviously are fine with being acquaintances, and I have a different desire (probably that female, maternal instinct thing). 

Whatever.

Even my own father admitted to not wanting a daughter, and to not wanting to be a father. 

Perhaps this is why I don't go out of my way to create and maintain friendships to this day.  Sort of a saboteur of my own friend-ship (so to speak). 

As an adult I have only my younger years to reference, and I can only remember that in extending massive amounts of energy to find, make and become friends with someone (as a child or young teen or young adult), I always found myself on the outside looking in once the day was done.  Eventually, I found it was much easier to observe than to dive in.  No expectations meant no broken heart or dreams...therefore no tears to shed.

A pattern I seem to be repeating in my grown-up years.  I've no connections to a past and I can see myself, even now, standing on a periphery of friendships.  Afraid of loss down the road, I do not let myself truly embrace something I know later will cause me pain and regret - so I hold back, or weaken a bond with bad habits.

If I have no expectations I can have no sadness later when expectations are not met.  Makes sense, right?

Told you, my life is a shambles.

(Oh, I know. "Boo-hoo-hoo." 
Well, this is either menopause rearing it's ugly head or my complete and utter disappointment at not being able to easily snag a job after all of this time.  Or, perhaps a combination of both of those and more thrown in.  Whatever it is, this is real and unavoidable grief, and I am not enjoying it - either!)

[wallow, wallow, wallow]

8.11.2011

Hard lessons and busy days

Brian has had to learn another hard lesson, but he seems to be taking it very well.

While driving home from work a couple of nights ago, he rolled down his window - or, attempted to - when something seized halfway down, the glass listed oddly to one side and then dropped into the doorwell.  I can only imagine the look on his face. 

His first instinct was to call me!  Oh, I wish I had the magical powers he thought I possessed at that moment.  Alas..............

The wind blowing in the open window, as he drove the 5.5 miles on the expressway, made the conversation impossible to continue.  So I told him to hang up and we would deal with it once he arrived home.

Thankfully it was on a workday when he did not close, so there was daylight (and fewer mosquitoes trying to snag a quick meal) while we taped up the opening and emptied all possessions out of his defenseless auto.

We had dinner and Brian tried not to think about the impending cost while making plans to get it to a shop first thing the next day.  I told him to be thankful he had a job (and savings) now, and to be happy for things that could be handled. 

Karl already had an appointment and a secondary activity to plan around, and Bud had work in the afternoon, so making the rest of the new bits work around existing time frames required some prodding and poking. 

We fit registering Karl for a new class into the time between dropping off Bud's car at the mechanic's and getting to Karl's appointment (to complete paperwork hiring a new Ind Supports Staff).  It seemed to work out OK.  Brian needed a lift to work at 4PM, and we finished Karl's activities with just enough time to get Bud there ahead of schedule.

After everything was said and done, it was a busy day, but everything accomplished was needful and productive.  I even got the sheers for the front room washed and the large window they hang in cleaned!  Now to finish the job. ;)

8.09.2011

The smell of jasmine and saffron rice cooking

Is there anything else quite so elegant and so tantalizing?  It's like carmel corn and some other unearthly bit of deliciousness wafting in the air.

I've got some excellent rib eye meat cut into thin strips and marinating in a semi-Asian marinade. 

At the ready stand my ever-present friends - chunks of red pepper and thick slices of onions.  Karl and I settled on baby ears of corn and spinach to round out the festivities in the pan...but now the question is:  Should we invite some mushrooms?

Hmmm.

Spices are on the counter nearest the stove, and the rice is half the way done.  My pan is standing by, waiting to go into sizzling action, and both of us (the kid and I) are drooling over what is to be dinner.......very, very soon.

Oh, maybe some pineapple chunks to act as a side dish!

By the by...it was a 'no' on the mushrooms.  "Maybe another time."  Sorry, fungi.

;)

Epiphany

Pretty certain I woke this morning after having an epiphany that was a little late in arriving.  But then, aren't epiphanies always late?

I guess I haven't done what I am supposed to have been doing during this whole time "off."  I am beginning to realize that perhaps God has been trying to get me to utilize His gifts more fully, and I've just finally heard the wake up call. 

Just finally felt the two-by-four to the cranium. 

Finally experienced the wet fish slapped across my mug. 

Finally seen the cow pattie splat-dab in my path (yes, I know it's "smack-dab" - my version is more sound effective).

I've finally tripped over my obvious 'lead twinkie'.

I've been questioning: "When is it going to be my turn?"  Maybe this is my turn and I am not recognizing it for what it is.

When I think about it in this way I become angry at myself for not having utilized the last four-plus years in a better fashion.  I am despondent over not having taken full advantage of the time allotted me to achieve the thing(s) God put me here to do.  How could I have wasted such a precious gift?

My entire adult life I have questioned how I am supposed to recognize God's hand in things.  I have been a classic doubting Thomas.

What if I've heard His whisper in my ear - felt that tingle of instruction and intervention, and had His push in a direction that I ultimately avoided taking because I didn't recognize it was Him?  Didn't recognize it was His will.  It's been this way at least the last 25 years, and now I am wracked with the pain and despair of knowing I have wasted more time than just the last four years.

I am filled with doubt.  Self-doubt, doubt in others and lack of faith - not in God, but in my abilities to make right decisions.  And now my doubt in myself has become gloom and deep regret and disappointment.

Oddly, my waking epiphany wasn't about my misdirection and false starts, it was that I should have mixed the flesh tone I wanted for my screen print using white as a base then adding a good dash of yellow and an even smaller touch of magenta.  The Pantone recipe was off....way off.

How I got to my current state of awareness I don't know, but I have arrived.  Thank God.

8.08.2011

Routines

The fluffy little shadow is at my feet, sniffing at something nearby and luxuriating in the feel of a good foot massage. 

No, I am not massaging her feet.  She is laying where I can run my foot up and down her back and scrub her tail.  Her own personal nirvana.  Earlier in the day I spent a good deal of time brushing Flop out with her favorite wire brush, and man - did she ever need it! 

We can't figure out how she develops such knots in her fur, unless it is just a common problem for long haired kitties.  It also seems to be a problem for her more often in the summer, especially under very humid conditions.  Poor little hairdo with feet.

After brushing a lot of the knotted mess free, I had Brian hold her while I trimmed out the worst two spots of matted fur with scissors.  She didn't panic so much today during the procedure as normal, mostly because she was getting a lot of stroking and futzing with her hindquarters - an area she particularly enjoys having petted.  My biggest fear is that I might accidentally nick her skin if she struggles while the scissors are closing.  This is why we 'tag-team' her and do everything gently and slowly.

Anyhow, I am back to my afternoon routine of more job searching and she is back to her usual MO - staying within eyesight of me, if not petting range.  It's a slow Monday and I feel a catnap coming on.

Start your day with a joke

A congressman was seated in first class next to a little girl on an airplane. He turned to her and said, "Do you want to talk? Flights go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger."

The little girl, who had just started to read her book, replied to the total stranger, "What would you want to talk about?"

"Oh, I don't know," said the congressman. "How about global warming, universal health care or stimulus packages?" as he smiled smugly.

"OK," she said. "Those could be interesting topics but let me ask you a question first. A horse, a cow and a deer all eat the same stuff - grass. Yet a deer excretes little pellets, while a cow turns out a flat patty but a horse produces clumps. Why do you suppose that is?"

The legislator, visibly surprised by the little girl's intelligence, thinks about it and says, "Hmmm, I have no idea."

To which the little girl replies, "Do you really feel qualified to discuss global warming, universal health care or the economy when you don't know crap?"

Then she went back to reading her book.

8.06.2011

Mmmmm, delicious

Oh, my goodness - thank you, Trader Joe!

I had a bag of Trader Joe's Lemon Pepper Pappardelle Pasta sitting on a pantry shelf (it's a small, narrow closet next to the fridge, but it helps to think of the over-stuffed space as a 'pantry'), two cans of chunk-style chicken (from a large warehouse store), and a tasty craving on the tip of my tongue.

Scrounged up three small-ish white onions which I cut onion ring-style, and had a small jar of artichoke hearts at the ready.  Karl put the nix on the artichoke hearts, but did agree to broccoli. (Truth be told, I would have preferred asparagus over everything else, but it turned out alright just the way it was, and Karl got another veggie today.)

I started the water to boil (for the pasta) and set to work on everything else.

Sauteed the onion in butter (just about a Tblsp) and a small amount of basil infused olive oil.  I took advantage of the (Greek) lemon flavored sea salt in my spice cupboard and dashed it over the onions to sweat them out a bit (when you salt the onions to sweat them, you need less butter to saute in).  Once the onions were nearly translucent I added roughly a Tblsp (and one half) of minced garlic and stirred it in. 

As soon as the garlic became aromatic with the heat, I tossed in the chicken.  I opted for the canned version instead of cooking larger, hand-cut breast meat simply to avoid the extra clean-up from beginning to end...and to keep from adding more heat to the house - today was warm enough!

Once the chicken was completely incorporated into the onion mixture it was time to pour in a can of evaporated milk (the can is the larger 12 or 14oz size).  You can use an additional smaller can if you prefer a saucier dish.

Add turmeric and curry in healthy amounts (I love both flavors) - I sprinkle and eyeball the amounts, but if I had to say I would think I used roughly 1/2 a Tsp each (maybe slightly less of the Turmeric).  You should season yours to taste.  Grind a fair amount of fresh cracked pepper over it as well.  I also added a pinch of Lemon Rind to the sauce early on - but I love lemon flavor and smell...and it's a natural match with chicken.

If the sauce mixture does not seem "liquid" enough, go ahead and add a ladle of the pasta water to the pan and stir it in well.  Add the vegetable(s) you have settled on at this point, too.

Now, simmer it all on low until the pasta finishes cooking.  Drain and add the pasta to the pan to coat it well and serve.  I hope you have a rather large fry pan!

Usually, I would have grated and added Asiago cheese to the sauce, but the lemony overtone of the pasta and sea salt coupled with the sweetness of the Turmeric and the headiness of the curry was enough flavor for one dish.

Enjoy!

Last night

So, last night I went to a cast and crew "pre-premiere" of a short I worked on last year.  It was either late October or early November - but it was cold.

The piece was a student thesis film which was created with the intention of getting it entered into film festivals.  Since a lot of festivals want the right to say they are premiering a film (a short or feature), we saw the piece in an unfinished state, and it won't be seen again until it is done and on display at the first (of many?) festivals.

It was fun to see a few of the faces who also worked on the film - mostly actors - but it was a neat chance to catch up a bit.  The DP is now working at a production house in the Metro area (congrats, Brian); he is looking forward to moving up from PA status to something grander down the road. But at least he is employed where he can continue working at a profession and craft that makes him happy. 

The writer/director was excited and eager to get our feedback, and even his parents were more than a little interested, as they hadn't been shown any of the footage shot, either!

Hopefully, he will be back in the state in about a year with another project and a budget to work with.  That would be cool - don't know where I will be or what I'll be doing...but that would be cool for somebody.

Good luck, Chris!  You have an ambitious project and a bit of work to accomplish yet, but I am pulling for you.  Looking forward to reading great reviews and being able to say "I was his Scripty once."  Take a breath and get it done!

8.05.2011

Yes, Mary, I need to take my own advice

I must begin.

I am bravely facing the situation I know will not end well.

My registration marks for "The Boys" is way off.  WAY OFF!  So much so that I am thinking of using your stippling trick to fix the gap at Karl's finger to Brian's nose.  Only one of the prints actually made it out looking right (as far as the registration), but then that print has bubbles/build up on the precious little finger, so it is far from good.

Grr!

Yes.  I tried to step back in to screen printing with far too ambitious a project, with far too little time to create proper stencils, and too much detail for a little project.  Perhaps if I return to my larger scale....

Yes - this would have been better all the way 'round as a larger print.

I still need to keep in mind the layers, and remember which needs to be cut a little larger to allow for matching and bleed over.  No exact cuts unless it is the/a top layer!!!

For now, I will be happy with two or three completed prints that look good enough to give as gifts.

[heavy sigh]

8.04.2011

What is up with some people in the world!?

Seriously.  What is the matter with people?

Why do people think it is OK to prey on others who are legitimately looking for legitimate work?

HEY!  I am an intelligent human who truly wants to work for a paycheck. Stop screwing with me!

I responded to an employment ad yesterday, and received a reply this morning.  Should have known that was too good to be true; and then I read the first line of the response:

"My name is Lauren Gilbert, 49yrs old,married with 2 kids, I'm currently lecturing college students on constructions."

Yes, this is how it was typed and sent to me.  You should know I am a bit of a "nazi" when it comes to correct spelling, punctuation, spacing....in general - composition.  This first sentence did not bode well for my future employment with "Peggy."

"I need someone to work with me from his or her home as assistant to monitor and keep me up to date with my online activities that all."

Important to note here, that the key phrases are: "from...home" and "online activities."

"Duties and Requirements:
Process all owner distribution batches – print checks, statements and mail on a timely basis.
checking store supplies [from my home?] and placing orders
Type various letters ,Prepare 3 Day Notices.
Retrieve and process faxes
Deposit and monitor payments of all owner contributions."

What sort of business do you run, Peggy?

"Available during regular business hours [nothing seems 'regular' with this]
Organized and able to take instructions well
Dependable, Reliable, Trustworthy a must
Excellent English language skills (both spoken and written)
Must have good attention to detail
[Let me stop you here, chump. My attention to detail has me questioning this whole 'job thing'.]
Must be a problem solver and not a problem maker
Have great work ethic and attitude, as well as people skills
pay-attention to detail, [um...you said this already] capable of multi-tasking, and works well under stress at times."

"Am out of state for now on business, I'll be back in next two weeks as i want you to start working for me prior my arrival and I do have numbers of things you could help me with this week if you will be available to start.This can act as a stable foundation to our working relationship together."

Code for: "You will do what I say and expect compensation on a regular basis. What you don't know is that your first check will be held up because you began working between pay periods.  Oops, then it will turn out that your 'paperwork' wasn't processed properly.  Then, your check will become "lost" in the mail...but don't worry about it, we'll get caught up.  Finally, by the time you realize you've been working for a scam artist, I will have made your life a living hell by using your email, your name and personal info to wreak havoc on your credit and good name."

"I have first task waiting for you to know if you are ready to work.

I want to know if you own any of this office equipments list you need to start this position:

Printer:
Personal Laptop/Desktop:
Internet Access: [Hello! aren't we emailing each other...on computers?]
Scanner:
Calculator:

If you have any of this office equipments let me know also fill the application form below.

APPLICATION FORM

First Name :
Last Name:
Full Street Address(not po box) :
City, State, Zip Code:
Cell Phone Number:
Home Phone Number:
Email:
Age:
Sex: [will let you insert your own snarky comment]
Status:
Yahoo Messenger ID:
Note:If you do not have yahoo ID set-up one to chat with me online.

Nationality___________________

Current Job:__________________________
Are you eligible to work in the United States?Yes____ No_____

If you are under age 18, do you have an employment/age certificate?Yes___ No___

POSITION/AVAILABILITY:

Position Applied For_________________ [You mean you don't know, Peggy?]

How often do you check your email:______________
What date are you available to start work?________________

Thanks so much."

Oh, no, Peggy.  Thank YOU so much.

I just want a job...is that too much to ask?

8.03.2011

No go

Had a brief conversation with Klaus when I called to let them know I was on my way over to finish the weeding, and he said that he and Erika had just spoken about how wet last night's rain left the ground, and they feared it was too muddy to work in.  So we agreed that I would head over tomorrow - if the conditions seemed dry enough to them for me to work in.

Ah well.  Found time, I suppose.

For the time being, Cleo is happily laying on my right foot and I am searching for more work online.  I've already applied to two new postings before eight o'clock this morning (both forwarded to me by friends), and I will hope to hear from either (or both) in a day or two.  I know, I know....don't push it and don't get your hopes up.

Too late!

Ah, see! It's raining again, and man is it ever sticky.  So much humidity!  You could swim in it...I'm tellin' ya!

In a bit I will pull out my project from last week's class and work on it - maybe even apply three more layers.  But the light is so poor, I fear lining up registration marks and mixing proper colors would be a challenge I am not willing to take on.  Perhaps working on a sewing project would be a better idea.

Back later.