A friend brought over a bag of r-e-a-l-l-y dark chocolate Dove mini's, and we had fun (all of us) devouring the darned things. But, have you ever noticed that the foil wrappers have fortune-like sayings inside? Some people never take the time to observe...so I can imagine the candy being liberated from their wrappers, and the foil being discarded without so much as a glance at the saying hidden inside. Poor wrappers. Sad little wrappers.
Oddly enough, I was reading my wrappers this weekend (because I am diligent and somewhat compulsive regarding such simple things) when I came across the saddest excuse ever, that could only have been written by a man. I can only imagine that the man who wrote this little ditty was looking for some weak-knee'd, slack-jawed, Hallmark-sort-of-way, to let himself out of a (sorely needed) butt-chewing -- most likely for forgetting an anniversary, birthday or meaningful event.
Yes...you guessed it, ladies. It was: "Sometimes, one smile means more than a dozen roses."
A smarmy little hominy meaning 'I didn't feel like stopping on the way home from hanging with the guys, to grab a raggedy handful of four-day-old wilty roses from the cooler at the neighborhood Kroger. Heck, why should I, when I know one of my smiles is worth more than a dozen roses.'
Have you fallen on the ground and smacked yourself silly?
Seriously?
If you didn't fall on the ground and smack yourself silly, please, allow me. I am in a smack-someone-silly-just-for-the-pure-pleasure-of-hearing-the-sound kind of mood.
Smackety-smackety-smack-smack-smack! C'mere you coward.
Sometimes a smack means 'I forgive your cheap *ss'.
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