Good morning

Parents must be ever-vigilant, tough as nails, willing to be fallible, anxious for success but capable of remaining poker-faced, always knocking on wood, mindful of praying for our children despite their wishes or misguided beliefs, ready to shoulder the burden for lack of preparedness, willing to accept blame and criticism whether actual or perceived, capable of standing firm when your convictions and house rules are tested and pushed to the limits, tough and forgiving, protective, loyal but not pushovers or patsies, conscientious and in the shadows, always two steps ahead and standing right behind.

And this is why I am sitting in the library, waiting for a phone call from Brian, to either tell me he is stuck in the sub at one of the hairpin corners, or that he made it to work. I am dressed for weather and work - pushing and shoveling. My boots already on and laced up tight; knit pants on under blue jeans; a long-sleeved T on under a sweater, and my coat and gloves placed at the door for easy access and a quick get-a-way.

The mall is opening early this weekend (no, there won't be early hour shoppers after the storm of yesterday, nor anyone with money to spend...but still, they open) because that's what malls do days before Christmas. Brian is driving my car back and forth to work - for many reasons - so of course I am concerned...for him and for my car! Don't laugh, if you were out of work for over a year and a half and you needed the vehicle you had to not be unavailable for any reason, you would be chewing your nails, too.

8:12a.m.

This is going to be one of those days where the unmotivated, least holiday-oriented, bored to tears, have-a-million-things-to-do-and-don't-know-where-to-begin-so-I-don't-feel-guilty, tired-of-rejection parts of me have to be prodded into action.

Bought one of those converter boxes so the government can make another damned dollar from the unemployed masses who want to watch their "free" TV shows. Yes, I hooked it up, and no, it isn't all that great. Yes, the pictures that do come in without effort are crystal clear. They aren't many, and I am woefully unimpressed. And it turns out that static is static - meaning, this static is now cubist in nature and not all 'snowy'. You also have to work 4 times harder to retrieve the two or three channels you did manage to get in after you try to adjust the rabbit ears to get in the rogue recepted one.

No, I don't care if my made up words interfere with your understanding of my tale. Get up and adjust the antennae! Geez.

Even worse, in order to enhance the few stations we may get in, we had to hook up the box with the RF and the red/yellow/white cords from the VCR unit. Now, I can't watch movies!!!

Waaahhhhhhhhhhhh.

Then Brian told me when I get a job, we could get real basic cable to eliminate this whole hassle. Guess what I told him. /;^P

No, go on....guess. LOL

11:27a.m.

Karl finally got up (hey, take care of the garbage, kid), and I have decided to do the dishes. Last night we had spaghetti and green beans, and the dishes are now taunting me. Cleo has been sitting with me watching an animal habitat show (Marty Stouffer, I think). There were lots of great shots of birds doing their thing, and Cleo was on the edge of her seat for most of the time. At some point she completely lost track of the fact that she was sitting on the sofa watching the TV and not a window view. She actually tensed up a time or two thinking she had a chance to pounce!