Karl experienced Bob Seger live!

The last time Karl experienced a live concert, it was a flop.  We had the unfortunate experience of sitting on the lawn, and a pack of thoughtless concert singers (concert screamers, really) sat down behind us.  Not only did they sing, yell, and loudly talk the entire way through it, they smoked non-stop...and there was no breeze to drive it off.

That evening was an unmitigated disaster, even though it was James Taylor, and we ended up leaving early - way early - just to get away from the concert-wrecking a-holes.

I have been to several concerts since then, but have never been able to get Karl interested enough to overcome the 'taste' of the worst experience ever - no matter who was on the bill.

Well, let me tell you, Bob Seger was the answer.  Managed to score unbelievably expensive lawn seats to the second-to-the-last concert here in town, and we got there in time to settle on the lawn in a decently sized piece of heaven.  Karl had a book to read, and I brought a sewing project; that helped to pass the time for the hour and one-half before the opening act took the stage.  Had we not surmounted the knob when we did, who knows where we would have sat.

Anyhow, Karl was on his feet more often than not, and he sang along with a lot of the music he recognized from the radio.  He was genuinely surprised at the number of tunes he knew, and heard a good deal more that interested him (that he would never have attributed to Bob).  And the best part was every time the band left the stage after announcing, "Good night, and thank you!," I refused to pack our gear and make for the long migration line to the parking lot.

I got 'the look.'

"Why not?" he'd implore, and I'd just smile and say, "encore."

"But he just played an encore."  Karl rolled his head back and looked at the night sky, throwing his hands out in fits of desperation.

"Just wait," I'd say.  "Give it a minute."

Those of us with a divine insider's knowledge knew to continue applauding and shouting out our heartfelt appreciation.  Bob was there, and just out of sight, and we didn't want his reign to end...but if there was a slim margin to entice him out a third time, we were going to clap until our arms fell off.

Then booyah!

Our favorite hometown boy did not disappoint.  Three encores and a raft of songs that became an entire concert set all on its own.  Thank you, Mr. Seger, for a wonderful shared experience for my youngest and myself.  It was a birthday present memory he will carry with him for a long time to come.

Oh, yeah, and we are still thunderously applauding - thank you for your music.

Ugh

I've let myself go.

Oh boy, have I let myself go.

In fact, I've gone, come back, and left again.  Go, go, go.  Going, going...GONE!

I'm wearing years of 'another birthday fat,' 'disappointment with life fat,' 'i don't have a full time job fat,' 'ouch fat (A.K.A. 'what is that pain - i can't walk fat'),' 'what the eff has happened to my life fat,' 'eat because i want to mask the pain of reality fat,' 'why is my bladder doing that fat,' 'why didn't i recognize that was God's sign fat.' 

You name it, the fat stopped here.

Well, after eleven years of trying, falling, re-inventing, getting back up and trying again, following the trends and trying, and falling, and getting back up once more, I finally found a full time job.  Or rather, the job found me - but either way, that's a BIG "thank you," God.

No, this is not me feeling sorry for myself, it's just the unbridled realization that I am so behind an eight ball with my name written on it...bedazzled in Liberace-style rhinestones.  Like a disco ball of ugh - swinging wrecking ball-like through my life - and I have a tracking device brilliantly embedded somewhere so that I cannot duck or hide, no matter how hard I work to improve things.

How do I make myself un-go?

Is there a way to undo the damage and get back to a good place, or do I just have to start all over again from here?  Really...from here?  Right here?  Really!?

Well, I suppose there are only truly two choices then, eh.  Keep loving the chocolate and potato chips, and all of the other bad things which taste so good and make me feel better, or confront those things that hold me back, make me feel scared and incapable and unworthy.

OK, this is me telling them to get the bleep outta my way!

But just in case, does anyone have a bag of bread crumbs I can use?

For those of you paying attention

In January we had a drop-in guest during that
horrible cold wave (Polar Vortex #1 of 2019).

Do you remember the story?

Do you remember what we named her?

Can you even recall what type of
critter she is?

Well, Click is doing fine, thank you.
Our 'keeper' tells me she healthy
and content, and is on track for a
successful release this spring.

This is happiness.
[sigh]
<3 p="">

A Good Year

Perhaps I should have called it, "A Momentous Year."  Or even, "A Year of Grand Change."  Oh, there are too many other titles to bestow on this year - always speaking in the familial - but it definitely was a year of accomplishment and change, tumult (the good sort) and beginnings/endings.

At this time of year it is common to concentrate on being thankful, on joyous celebrations of coming together, burying the hatchet, seeing the good in everyone (even if there is none in some folks to see).  It is the time folks reflect on the year as it races towards another finish line, and think themselves better off, or better people, or whatever form of improved they care to blind themselves with.

However, under the heading of "my sons," it truly was a year to be thankful for.

Karl graduated from junior college with 2 Associate's, and

Brian married his lovely friend and partner, Angela.
Even I was able to come by a full time job this year ('bout darn time!).

No, I won't spend paragraphs going on and on about any of this.  Suffice to say, thank you, God, for all of your love and goodness.

But I will ask: why does it seem as though the majority of us only wait until this time of the year to be thankful for the many blessings which come our way over the course of 365 days?  Shouldn't we be more diligent in our thanks, prayers, and praise when the blessings occur?  Think about it... then respond appropriately.

With love and gratitude -

It's one of those neat 'nature' things...I guess

I have a Sweet Autumn Clematis that amazes me every year, and 2013 was no exception. In fact, this year that little plant seemed determined to outdo itself!

From my kitchen window I watch the advance of new spring growth starting about late-April-early-May, and I wonder how full it will it get; how long will it extend this year? Every year - EVERY year - since planting it, I've watched and wondered. And every year I'm treated to a wonderful show. Of course, I never forget to thank the Creator and Mother Nature for the bounty.

The oddity of my lovely floral show this season was that the flowers began opening on the first day of September, and by October first, the show was over. [snapping fingers] Just like that. Now, I will stand at the window and stare at my empty wave of green, missing my spectacular, over-abundant spray of flowers, and I will wait for next spring. But I know there's promise in the waiting.

Thank you, Lord.

One more step

And yet, one more step taken. 
One hurdle achieved. 
Another tick on the list attained.

About two weeks ago (yikes!) I received a lovely packet in the mail telling me that PQ1 had been juried into the GR AQS competition, and that I needed to complete the forms contained within and mail it back to them haste.  Actually, what the cover letter read was, "...fill these out and send them back NOW."

One of the forms regarded insurance for the quilt - both for shipping and loss replacement should something happen at the show (or during shipping).  Lots of cost involved here.  Without a proper, legal, binding appraisal, whatever loss might happen would all be on me.

So, without too much delay, I attempted to find a qualified appraiser and gain an appointment in short order.  No easy feat here in the mitten state.  The quickest thing available found me in Bay City yesterday, and the appraisal was done in about an hour.  With all of two weeks now having slipped between my fingers, I must get this bunch of papers back to the AQS gang soon.

The next step is to ship PQ1 to Kentucky, then cross my fingers and say my prayers.  August 14th can't get here soon enough!  More later, peeps - have a quilty day. :)

P.S. Thanks, Jean, for driving the final leg!  I had a fun time meeting your cousin and her son, Doris and Nick, too.

One active day

Began the day by covering the long wall in primer - finally!  Wish I had spent it in a different order, i.e.; using the cool part of the day in more "quilty" pursuits instead, and moving on to the painting stuff last, but....ah, well.  I am only one step away from hanging artwork and quilts!!!

In the early evening, Barb and Jean stopped by - armed with ice cream cake! - to celebrate another year of maturity for Karl and Barb.  We ordered LL pizza and relaxed and chatted. 

Later, Barb kindly reviewed Karl's last math test and spoke with him about it.  I am not certain if she was able to identify his more difficult hiccup, but I think she helped him to clearly understand it is within his power to turn the ship around before the end of the semester.

Thank you, Barb!

The evening fell and the humidity rose, so I gave up hope of any quality quilting time...opting to finish up the dishes in the sink and then laze on the sofa, sorting old paperwork and waiting for the evening news just for the weather forecast.  Well, I fell asleep and missed it completely! 

Now, I've dragged myself upstairs, washed up for bed and am ready to crash mightily. 

Have a good night, all.  See you tomorrow ~

Don't be jealous, but...

...I have some VERY AWESOME friends.

OK, you can be jealous if you want to.

Just to review

March 2013 -
You are just about as over as over can be, oh miserable month of March.  Between the inane "March Madness" (ugh), and the absolute crap March weather - not to mention the abhorrent time change to (or from?) "daylight savings" - I am over you!  OVER.

Fine'!  Skedaddle!  Shoo!!  Go on, get outta here!  Get off my lawn. [menacing glower]

While we wait for March to gather its belongings and scurry on away, let's review the month, shall we:

New Pope - cuz the old one 'retired'?  Really?  What a quitter. 
Oh, and can you news people STOP REPORTING EVERY DAMN FIRST THIS NEW POPE HAS?  Sheesh!  I am amazed (and quite frankly a little saddened) you all didn't chronicle his first time using the Papal pooper.  I mean, come on!  Every time he does something for the first time it's going to be his first - but do we ALL really need to hear about it as a big news story?  Get over it already and find some REAL news.  There's plenty out there.

New EM in Detroit - cuz the city has some serious issues to straighten out and the governor decided he could/would send in a person who has less than an adequate record his ownself (visa vi - his owing a lot of back taxes, child support, etc., and ducking out on that responsibility in another state which is not Michigan)!  Right...good choice there, gov Snidiot!  Way to vet someone for their ethics and appropriateness for a really important job.

New jail cell for Kwame K - 'bout damn time that man was made to meet some of his responsibilities face-to-face.  And no, you can't go home to have someone kiss your knee and make it better!  There are a lot of inmates with physical ailments who aren't allowed to leave the 'pen' to see a doctor.  Make some friends and get used to the way life should have been for you for the last few years, you deplorable, despicable person! 

New attitude for Karl - concerning school -- and a glimpse into his future!  Since I do not want to jinx it, I am leaving it at that.  BUT, I will add that he has been passing the tests in math, and getting great grades on the ol' homework....so, YEA!  thank you, Lord.

New neighbors across the street - yup, that house f i n a l l y sold.  Holy cow!  Nope, haven't met them. 

OK, that's all for the time being, I am itching to do something.  *Something,* but I have no idea what.  Just not nothing would be good.  I'll let you know how that goes, for now I am gone.  GONE LIKE MARCH!

Welcome, SPRING!

It's about time!  Where have you been?

Now, get to work!!.........PLEASE.

Red sky in morning...

...sailor, take warning!

And the morning horizon was a blazing pinky-red.  Oh, yeah....we're in for that storm they've been forecasting.  Our forecasted snow totals have gone from an impressive 6-8" to an alright 4-6", and back to a rather solid 'uh-oh' 8-10"!

We won't be shoveling, not much.

I may go out one last time early in the afternoon to fortify our larder since, once the snowfall begins, we are going to be socked-in for a few days.  Nothing big in the way of groceries, just things like cat litter, hamburger buns (I feel like sloppy joes for some reason), carrots, facial tissue.  You know, odds-and-ends-sort-of-stuff.

I don't think Karl realizes how far he has come with class this semester, and how close to the finish line he is.  The end of April marks the end of the current semester, so essentially eight weeks is all that remains for the winter term.  He is doing well, keeping up with homework and passing exams with ease.  Quite a departure from most school experiences to date!

Thank you, God.

I know Karl doesn't see the progress, doesn't feel a swell of pride in himself (although I wish he could) at this achievement, but perhaps some day it will make itself known.  He really lives "in the now" for the most part, and only recently began to project his thoughts to the future...but those are fleeting moments.  However it happens, we'll take what we can get.

He is planning on taking a summer class, so now is a good time to begin thinking and arranging.  Perhaps I will take one as well!

More later, right now I feel a surge of doing welling up inside, so I am going to run with it!

Later, 'gator.

I love my sons

The best thing about coming home last evening, after having instructed a slow class of two kids, was finding that my sons had taken it upon themselves to wash the sinkful of dishes!

Yes!  Most of the dishes had been washed and were stacked in boy-ordered chaos in the strainer. It was WONDERFUL!  Sure, there's a bit to go before it's all done, but the fact that they thought to do it at all was a gift worth cherishing!

Thank you, boys.  You made me smile.

Uh-huh, that's right

Yes, I expounded on how I like my hot dogs prepared - what did you want me to write about?

Oh! What did you want me to write about? You know who you are. [squinty eyes in your direction]

OK, here you go.

Cleo was due for a hard day in the evacuating department.  That is to say, her ears were exceptionally hot, she was making frequent trips to the box - and straining - but yielding nothing beyond urine.  Yup, she was going to have one of 'those' days.

As much a hassle as it is for me when she is blocked, for her, it is tiring and excruciating and horrendous....and about 600 additional shitastic-ly colorful descriptives which would all mean rotten and uncomfortable.

I was settling in and mentally preparing for the familiar long poo day when mom called. 

While I was on the phone with mom, Karl came to the staircase to announce that he had wanted to go to the bathroom but that Cleo had 'used' the bathroom first - and had left a dash-and-a-dot and a puddle on the bathmat!

Yea! 

For those of you thinking "ew," this is a crisis averted.  Be happy for 'the pup.'  Her ears are cool and she is relaxed and chatty, so sincere prayers are answered. 

Thank you, Lord.

They did it!

The boys muscled the heavy, oak, trestle table out the front door, down the hill around the house, and into the back door of the lower level.  And just like that [finger snap], my sewing area has a fabulous work surface!

I have been sitting in the living room for the past several years, using the table there, and taking up space in the process.

Finally, the urge to make that view disappear became too much for me, and I did something about it.

There's a small percentage of items yet to move before the entire undertaking can be considered complete, but for the most part there is an incredibly vast (and marked) difference upstairs and down!  All for the better, too.

Thank you, my babies, for your wonderful help.

Oh, and, Terry Sawyer...

If that was really you leaving a (somewhat) strangely-worded comment on a year-old blog entry, thank you.  It was a kind (strangely-worded) comment, and I truly appreciated it.  Thanks.

[tiny flattery blush]

Pssst....I am assuming you were using an iPad (or other sort of tablet) to write it on.  I have a friend who also uses an electronic "pad", and suffers a lot of typos and word-corrected app-foibles in her messages.

Hope to read you again some time, when you aren't at war with the press. :)

Farewell to an icon

I haven't been blogging a lot lately. I've had my head down either looking for work or trying to knock out this current quilt (there's a looming deadline).

However, I do allow myself a little news here and there, and I was saddened to learn of the passing of Helen Gurley Brown. She was a one-of-a-kind sort who took no prisoners and told it like it was. There was no sugarcoating or mincing words with that chic.

Yes, she was a bit of a 'shock jock' in the sixties and seventies, but she was exactly what the female population needed to drive home Betty Freedan's point regarding equality for women - in the boardroom, the bedroom, and everywhere in between!

Her pioneering spirit, and determination to put men in their place, will be sorely missed, cuz they broke the mold when she was cast.

Rest in peace, Ms. Brown. Sincerest condolences to your family and dear friends. Thank you for all you did to make my world a little less competitive and a lot more open. I will try to keep your significant balls rolling.

S'far, s'good

Woke up a little after six this morning and realized the cheek/eye-spasm-thing had finally abated.

Yea!

Couldn't get back to sleep, but that's OK. The trade-offs for being sleepy the rest of the day are fair enough.

"What trade-offs?" you ask.

Well - the weather is sufficiently cooler and less humid (and will remain so for the next five to six days or so); we had a smattering of rain yesterday, which was a blessing; and I go home in less than seven hours! See...all good!

Even better, I was witness to a lone Canada goose (the first in a LONG time) honk his arrival and land in the field next to Gram's building not more than an hour ago. Usually, this field is constantly dotted with pairs (or flocks) of geese throughout the spring, summer, and fall, but this year the weather has conspired to keep them away.

I always feel absolutely forlorn for the solo geese, though, never knowing if they're separated from their flock or their mate, or just hoping to hook up with a new group. When they arrive and find the field utterly empty, my heart aches for them with their discovery of being alone.

This fellow seems alright with it, though, and has settled in for a well-deserved rest. Currently, he is preening and relaxing in the wide open expanse of green -- probably very happy for the relative quiet and a chance to rest his wings.

Believe me, my feathered friend, I know that feeling well. Enjoy!

Dean Martin and John Wayne [swoon]

As I stated yesterday, I was able to catch some of the John Wayne movie marathon (on the TBS channel) while staying with my gran. She has cable, which we do not...so that's always a real treat. It was just serendipitous that the Duke would be the feast of the day while I was there!

To compound that happiness, "Rio Bravo" was one of the features I was able to catch bits and pieces of! [squeal of delight]

Thank you, universe, for aligning my stars and delivering Dean Martin/John Wayne. [more squeals and heavy swooning]

So I guess you all know what I'll be doing periodically throughout the next few evenings.

Progress

Wonderful progress!

When our children are younger - caught up in those milestone moments of learning to walk, talk, use the potty chair, feed themselves, etc., graduating from toddlers to the years called 'childhood' - we have hopes and expectations. We have dreams and goals. We have a sense of achievement for their futures.

We want for them all the things we maybe didn't have for ourselves. Or, if we had a blessed and prosperous upbringing, we desire that to continue for their sake.

While I had a decent, moral upbringing, I still wanted my sons to know something more than I had. I wanted them to not know divorce...but we don't always succeed when so many forces are beyond our control. And I wanted the boys to have friends - lots of friends. People with whom they could confide in, play with, learn from, lean on and be good friends to in return. But, we can't control how people return friendship (or not).

And then there are the factors (physical, mental, emotional, etc) that we can't foresee, we don't expect and wouldn't ask for; those things that eventually become part of our lifelong equation of life.

Karl's autism has perhaps slowed down the rate of progress toward maturation, and extinguished some milestone markers in their tracks, but he still occasionally experiences moments of shining hope for his future, and when they happen...it simply brings me to tears. This weekend saw one of those moments unfold, and I had to fight the urge to pull out my camera and immortalize it on the spot.

His circle of known flesh-and-blood friends is small, and most of them he occasionally-to-rarely sees. I would even go so far as to say there may be a couple of those he could go for most of the remainder of his life and never see again face-to-face, and he would be alright with that. Although, he has lately grown a little more comfortable leaving the house periodically to interact with life outside these four walls, I am not pushing too hard to make it happen, but accepting his moments of courage with happiness and hope.

There is another small group of folks he knows, but only in the www-ethereal way. Those online voices and personas with whom he has conversations and shares web surfing time, those folks are kindred spirits (to a degree), but they will never meet.

Do they know he is autistic? Most likely not. They may notice some strange behaviors or vocal things during games or discussions, but mostly he is just some person somewhere who sits at a computer and plays games and laughs at articles and silly memes found out in the web cosmos. Sadly, it seems as though these folks are at other ends of the country, or maybe even on different continents altogether, and the time zone differences make interactions next to impossible.

Such is life.

Excuse me. As usual, I have wandered away from the subject at hand.

This afternoon, Karl was able to assist in getting three friends and himself together in one place, and they spent nearly five hours roaming the mall and chatting, as young people do!

Dropping him at the meet-up point for the rendezvous was a high point for me, and overwhelming as his parent to notice he had combed his mop-ish hair and put on a nice, pinstriped Oxford shirt for the occasion!

I watched from a distance as the awkward gang clamored into another friend's vehicle and proceeded to the mall parking lot to embark on an afternoon of whatever, and I couldn't have been happier knowing Karl was going to blend into the crowd of neuro-typicals for a short time!

Progress in all its forms is a wonderful thing.

Hmmmmm

Not sure what caused our power outtage last night, but we were very grateful to have the power come back on in the late night hours.

Everything except the TV and the old attic fan had been turned off. The television was an error - I had been upstairs making dinner when the power when out, and I had the set on loud enough so that I could hear the news while I was in the kitchen. I never thought to head to the lower level and hit the button to turn it off once it went silent. But I suppose I also thought the power would be back on again long before it actually happened, and so I forgot about it.

The fan I turned on on purpose before we all decided to turn in for the night. We use that fan to draw the cool night air throughout the house to cool it off on these dreadful days of summer, and I reasoned that if the power company managed to get the power up and running at some point, then we would have the benefits of the upper 60s without having to get up and interrupt our rest - any of us.

Aahhh, and it was a Godsend, too.

But here we are. A new day, another sunrise, and the promise of hot and sticky weather ahead. I wonder if the outtage was a one off, or insight to what we can expect for the remainder of the summer.

Finger's crossed and hopes are high that we will proceed through the rest of July (and the following two months) without too many more incidents.