Rose quickly to the sounds of a cat puke in process, only to witness hurf two (yes, they always happen in twos) and the sad, quick, guilty trot of the fuzzy culprit away from the newly spewn mess.
I created "spewn" because it sounds funny. Also, because I like the sound of the word "hewn", but it wouldn't have been appropriate here, in this context, and there isn't another gurk-related word that conjours up (for me) the descriptive quality I was searching for....so "spewn" it is!
Dammit, Flop!
The first ninja hurl was on the chair - the camel-colored, upholstered armchair - and a slight bit on its accompanying throw pillow. The rest of her special delivery lay in a liquid-y puddle on the hardwood, but a smidge too close to the carpet.
I cleaned up the mess toot sweet, amidst the baying food request of deaf cat Hobbes. Every time I made for additional paper towel, or deposited a messy load of used towel in the garbage, 'Foghorn Leghorncat' bellowed louder - as if I couldn't hear her!
Cleaning mission complete, I fed the kitty hoard and proceeded to the cat box, which also required a backhoe and lead-lined baggie. Actually, that wouldn't have been so bad, but two feline masterminds had missed the box throughout the night/early morning hours, and my unfinished LL bathroom floor looked more like the men's room in a Greyhound bus terminal!
Bleaching, rinsing, drying, skreeting complete, I washed up and began a load of laundry, only to witness Flop's mismatched peeing efforts with the side of the box, and whoops - ANOTHER puddle ON THE FLOOR! After terrifying her out of the box and up the stairs (oh, and I'm certain she still has to go), I set about cleaning this new mess.
I think I've had enough Mother's Day, thanks.
That's it, nobody gets to go the bathroom the rest of the day!!! Except me.
R-r-i-i-i-i-i-ght.
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