RNT (Redneck Theatre)

Redneck Theatre is a neighborhood thing. To be more precise, it's my neighborhood thing.

I know what you're thinking: "How come she's so uber trendy and lives in such a cool urban setting? I want to live in the theatre district, too!"

Well, you can turn off that whining valley girl faucet this instant!

While I am uber cool - it's true - my neighborhood isn't in some eclectic, funky, uptown urbania. Nope. I live in a stuck-up, sleepy little community, way north of "the D," where the people honestly think everyone secretly wants to be them.

We are surrounded by several sad, decaying towns, where crime and blight could easily overrun our quaint adorable streets, and yet most of the socialite yokels walk around like Thurston Howell the third and his doe-eyed wife, "Love-y."

But I digress.

In the big city you would call it 'everyday life.' But we aren't in the big city, and here, the neighbors' shenanigans are an excuse to grab a tub of buttered popcorn and get comfy. The only sad part is that you can't turn up the volume - and screaming "Louder!" only tends to end the performance prematurely. So, we stopped doing that.

Over the past several years our neighbors across the street have provided us with a great deal of high drama and hilarity...and I have never once sent them a thank you for the ringside seats. They have been very entertaining.

The narcotics sales, the parties, the smoking of illegal substances while having children stand in the front yard to watch for the approach of parental cars and/or the cops. Oh, and the family fights, the destruction of property, the high numbers of police vehicles....and on and on.

Most recently, Mama allowed a couple of her offspring to move back into the nest (with girlfriends/baby mamas in tow), but realized months later the error in that decision. After a rather sporadic set of afternoon matinees with the older boy and his drunky-drawer GF this week, Mama returned home from a few days absence and quickly pitched their belongings neatly onto the front porch! (This week has been an eye-opener for the new neighbors on either side of her.)

Late, late this afternoon, the mother of the drunky GF showed up for the second time in two days - and she had the hapless couple with her. They popped by to collect their impromptu yard sale items - once again, giving one of the newer neighbors something to ogle.

For many minutes after the last of the items had been loaded, the boy attempted to get his mother to come to a front bedroom window, or to the front door, or to at least answer the phone. But mom would not be budged!

Ah, RNT, I am going to miss you.