My mind is so scattered and restless, and I cannot for the life of me figure out what or why - I just feel so uninspired and blocked. Broken and useless.
Usually, when something like this creeps up on me and settles in, it's only one of those sorts of feelings, and I can busy myself with something or other to vanquish the bugger - to drive the feeling away. It's never the gamut, though - never altogether. So what is this?
I awoke this morning, not too very early, but felt lackadaisical about crawling out of bed and putting my feet on the floor. Hobbes was by my side waiting for my eyelids to flutter, breathing patterns to change, and movement to begin.
She was unusually quiet, though. Patient, even (very unlike her - eSPEcially first thing in the morning). This morning she just sat nearby grooming and fussing with this and that - paws, chest fur, stray tufts here and there. Eventually, she lay down, purring softly while staring out the window. She became entranced by the soft light invading our space, and then she spotted something which made her start.
I strained to catch a glimpse, until I realized the only thing moving out there was snow. Sparse small flakes falling and tumbling by the glass. Then all of a sudden, the snow began falling with a purpose! As though someone in the sky was throwing handful upon handful towards the ground.
It's now roughly two hours later and it appears the snow is now falling with a vengeance. Everything outside the back patio door is drowned in thick white, freshly fallen snow. The cars out front are awash in it; and the lawn, all bushes, flowerbeds and tree limbs, are simply a tapestry of white.
It all almost echoes my mood, but somehow, the snow looks lovely. My mood is anything but.
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