"We all have noses," you cheer in unison.
No. What I mean is: there are people in this world who have noses that can sniff out scant molecules of something - trace evidence, if you will - of some smell hidden within a melange of other aromas. This is most helpful in perfume development, cooking (if you are a well-paid, sought after chef), chemical warfare, suspect identification (most usually if you are a dog), wine evaluation (which also requires a brilliant palette), etc.
Well, I have one of these sensitive units. I love my nose and it's capabilities. However, there are times when it can be a nuisance as well.
For example:
When I am out for a walk I can always tell when laundry is tumbling in a drier somewhere. Sometimes this is apparent blocks before I actually pass the home (not) in question...and you people know who you are!
Hint: if you must add three or four dryer sheets to each load in order to sufficiently cover the smell of your laundry (or more accurately, cover the smell of YOU in your 'clean' laundry), might I suggest other alternatives to your own bathing and grooming habits? Dryer sheets are to soften your clothes, not to mask an odor issue.
Conversely, I do tend to revel (mentally) when I am online somewhere, and I find myself standing near a person who understands the concept of the adage "less is more," and subscribes to the application method in this rule of conduct. MOST especially when the fragrance they have chosen to use is pleasant to one's olfactory senses.
A good smell can bring a smile to my face. An excellent cologne, a lovely oh-what-is-that-smell-and-where-is-it-coming-from freshness that somebody is wearing....which doesn't knock you over the head with its presence and choke you with lingering stank. Why can't everyone observe the smell rules?
It's like driving. There are lines painted on the roadways for a purpose. Once you climb into YOUR lane, you stay there - keeping your crappy music and your papers inside that space WITH YOU. Your smell should stay in your own 'lane'. I don't wanna smell it!
Older people and cheap men are guilty of hanging on to a bottle of something-or-other they received for a birthday or Christmas - back in 1973! - and then liberally dousing themselves with it before they walk out of their homes. Those folks should be told immediately they are offending everyone within a half mile radius, and then dragged through a hog pen until their own aroma no longer remains.
Of course, I would feel badly for the swine, but they'll get over it.
Then again: old older people - and I mean those old folks who have begun to rot from the inside out - those folks are a bit of a conundrum. I mean, of course they need to be out and let themselves air out somewhat...and maybe they can't reach those areas now leaching smell as they could have once upon a time - but caregivers need to be a little more diligent. Get a hose (for rinsing, not for beatings) or install a bidet. Have mercy!
Truly, it's a real tosser with that problem. The needle could go either way on that one, but I tend to be a bit more forgiving for the stinky wrinklies than for those mid-old age funkmeisters who use too much Channel No. 1965.
Hello! If it smells like effusive baby powder and sickeningly sweet unidentifiable things, throw it in the garbage and head to the store for something new! I'm begging you.
Along those lines, if you think that "natural body odor" is a turn on, or a statement about your purist attitude and lifestyle - get a clue. You stink! Buy some Suave and use some soap. Sheesh!
[pant pant pant]
Anyway, I think you get the drift of where I am heading. I believe you've caught a whiff of my objective. You know what I am saying.
Don't make me sniff you out and make rude comments, it won't be pretty when you begin crying.
Deep breath.
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