Feeling.....'feh'

I don't know how else to describe how I have been feeling these past few days (but it may be more like weeks). Just a walking ball of poi.

Not 100% any one thing, but bits and pieces of a bunch of different feelings. Lots of conflicting feelings, too.

Bored, overwhelmed, eager, unmotivated, deflated, uncertain. *Could-give-a-rat's-patoot about anything from sun up 'til sundown any more (*could NOT think of the proper word for this particular sensation - but I know it's out there).

I am weepy and sullen, bitter and off the rails, and if it weren't for the classes, I would never leave the house (if I could get away with it). What is the matter with me that a job and a sense of purpose wouldn't cure? Where's my conviction, my self worth, my sense of accomplishment?

Don't know if I really ever had any "get up and go," but if I did, it surely got up and 'went.'

And now that the dryer is once again on the fritz, I am feeling even more defeated and heartbroken. I had a working life and a direction once, what is the point of all of this now?

Blah and feh.