Pages

3.20.2012

Spit it out

I suppose all I am really trying to say is, I am having a hard time finding my place in the world.

How can I get others to see and value my worth when I can't recognize it in myself any more?

I can do so many things well, and I love the activities which I am good at, but getting doors to open and making those all-important connections with people who could propel me back into working status is not as easy at fifty as it would have been at 25....or even 35.

There is a/that discrimination, and I have been reminded of it all too frequently - and the longer I am out of work (as a bonafide, every day, nine-to-five employee), the harder it is to get someone to look past the work gaff....EVEN THOUGH I HAVE HAD JOBS THROUGHOUT THE DRY PERIOD!! As a filmy (someone employed on film projects) those corporate clowns don't know that to get those jobs takes skill and accumen and drive - and damn good skills - or you just don't keep finding more work. No credit is given for having been working in film.

That's more discrimination.

So, here I am, reinventing myself and acquiring new/more skills and knowledge, hoping to find a light at the end of the tunnel - a light held by a willing employer.

I just want a job that I am capable of, that I can enjoy (to some extent), that pays me a decent wage for the skills I possess, and where I won't be expected to sit still and allow them to squeeze more out of me than they are willing to pay for!

There, I spat it out....now hang on while I go get a tissue or something to wipe it up.

No comments: