Ahh, June 1st

In years past, I would have sent a birthday card to my stepmother (first stepmom), but since Bev passed on earlier this year I am sending cosmic thoughts and wishes to her.

The new recipient of the June first b-day card is Barb J, my eldest sons former girlfriend.

Happy Birthday, Barbra Melba-toast Yule-log Maybelline Janiski!

Her mom and I became friends before the kids' first breakup, and we have remained friends ever since.

It's been a fairly symbiotic relationship over the last two years or so, with Jean needing answers to divorce questions and her providing a sounding board for me during the early months of my work separation and on through to the present. When staying at her family home was next to impossible during the divorce proceedings (with her ex-dolt there), she would periodically make our home a place to come - she has several friends who afforded this sort of refuge.

If I had had that sort of option, I would have done the same thing way back when.

While I was attending Specs, she would routinely stay in Clarkston and helped with getting Karl here and there, getting pizza or Chinese food and critiquing my assignments, and keeping Brian on task. (Kids will often talk to adults who aren't their parents...go figure.)

What does all of this have to do with June first?

Nothing, really, except she has been the first real friend I have had since before my own divorce, and it took me years to achieve that. Since then I have made other friendships, but I do so sparingly, and with great trepidation.

Over my lifetime I have found that friendships do not last, no matter how much I put into keeping them going. I can have all sorts of good intentions, but the effort has to be mutual, and I have never had a good friendship last past a move out of town, a graduation, lives and business interfering, etc. So my recourse over time has simply been to refrain from becoming attached to anyone so as to avoid the painful part of losing that friendship.

I do not like goodbyes, so in order to avoid them, I have learned to avoid the hello portion, too. I know this means missing out on some really good opportunities from time to time, and at first glance this may seem like a strange way to conduct one's life, I have found it to save the larger portions of my heart that remain from breaking and being ground to dust.

Self-preservation and the first of June are a bitch.